New Muse/Website running test now, thoughts?

[Tofegorat]

Hey all,
I recently discovered 4HWW with the slow in business due to the economy.
So here's my first attempt at a site and muse idea,
Im talking with manufacturers now, and should get 8-10x markup though I havent made any sales yet after over 150 unique visitors through adwords ads.
My CTR for my ads is around .5%, Im workin on improving that but have to wait for stats to come in.

Any ideas, suggestions, criticisms are welcome to improve both CTR and conversions. And dont worry about offending me, its my first try so I know Im not quite doing it right.

www.boardglow.com (http://www.boardglow.com)

Thanks!

[kamakiri]

No amount of SEO or adwords will overcome poor copy. Your writing does not flow well. There are a ton of resources out there for improving your copywriting skills, but in general, if you aren't going to take the time to get good at it (many people don't want to), it is easier to outsource the writing.

There isn't anything persuasive there. Nothing telling me to act NOW! Or low "low introductory price".

On a side note, elwire is all over the place, and your prices are absurd.

[FormerWageSlave]

Did you write the comments in the comments section yourself?

[sadu]

Nice elePHPant :)

[Tofegorat]

Thanks for the help guys!
Ill definitely look into copywriting and rewrite my landing page.
Sadu, I didnt understand your comment?
PHP?

[sadu]

I'm pretty sure that elephant is an elePHPant. Does it have 'PHP' written on the side?

Like these...
http://tinyurl.com/m4gk4r

It's a geek thing - PHP web developers order these things in bulk from all over the world. Some give them to their kids to help ensure that they don't grow up developing with Microsoft technology. Others keep the toys for themselves because they are, um, cool.

Edit: In case it's not clear, I'm referring to the elephpant on the snowboard on the OP's original site.

[Carlos]

yeah, the website needs a serious overhaul.

[liam75005]

My 2cts about this topic :

It's true that the landing page is... discouraging. It doesn't make the customer feel like he's in a shop and he will get good quality products.

A few things that I didn't like about the page, this is very subjective, please don't take offense as I m just trying to point out what isn't working with the sales copy :

-Top left : the logo doesn't look professional or fun but like coming out of a bad 80s sci fi movie. Not really matching with your target audience of cool snowboarders.
-"Ordinary is nothing" the sentence doesn't reflect the message you want to send and the font isn't really catchy.
-Buttons, menus don't look really professionnal either
-Poll : what's the point of it ? To test interest ? Then why isn't there a picture for each color ? I m not sure it should be on the landing page at this spot.
-Store page : same problem with the font for the "Free shipping" the 2 lines of text are stuck one with each other it looks amateur.
-Font and text organisation on the main page : it doesn't flow, you can change font and review the layout of your text. Less subtitles, and more emphasis on the main benefits of the product (think bullet points for example)
-View details buttons look a bit better, however they lead to the store : why don't you change and say this is a "buy now" button
-The problem is that the page doesn't show the differentiator and the main features of your product. On the top of that the font and the layout makes people not to feel like reading what it's about.
-Check out the analytics of your webpage, and if anybody clicked thru to the store page.

A lot of work to be done, but the idea is good and targeted at a very specific niche. Good luck with it, keep us aware of the next versionsv !

[Tofegorat]

Thank you very much Liam for all the great input. Ill definitely be making use of it.

One thing Im not sure about is the "Buy Now" button. That phrase seems like it takes more commitment than simply "View Details" or "Go to Store" or similar. Have these terms been tested?

[liam75005]

I haven't tested them yet, as I m still in the product development phase in my case, but I think it's just less confusing to the customer.

To me "View details" means I ll get to a page with technical specs, data, description of the different models and so on. "Go to Store" is already less confusing because it tells me that I ll go to a page where I ll be able to buy.
"Buy Now" is even more direct, maybe too much. If I were you I d try maybe "Go to Store" on your new page and if nobody clicks on it then I d try another one.

Good luck

[DaveinHackensack]

A few thoughts, positive and negative.

On the positive side:

- Nice domain name.

- I don't snowboard, but this looks like an interesting product -- like the kind I'm surprised isn't already popular.

On the negative side:

- Why plug "those geniuses overseas"? That's basically advertising that you didn't come up with the idea, and that if I look hard enough I can cut you out of the mix and buy this directly from someone overseas. No need for you to do that. You're the genius who found this product and decided to introduce it to an American audience. Don't sell yourself short. If this product takes off, you can develop a reputation for being a cool hunter. Snow boarders might look forward to what you'll offer them next (a glow in the dark hat? gloves?), and you might be able to sell new products to an established clientele that way.

- The website doesn't look very professional to me, but then most DIY sites look that way to me now that I've spent more time looking at (and paying for) professional work, so take that for what it's worth.

[Tofegorat]

Thanks for all the input! I took most of your suggestions and implemented them.
-Changed the buttons to be more stylized
-Added more info about sales and guarantee
-completely rewrote the sales page after going though a bunch of copywriting material.
-added a FAQ
-changed the logo and slogan

Any more suggestions would be greatly appreciated!
After getting some responses Ill make some final changes then start adwords testing again.

BoardGlow.com

[DaveinHackensack]

Good luck, buddy. It looks like you've got an interesting product.

Two other quick ideas:

- What about getting the "Board Glow" brand mentioned somewhere on the product itself? Like Nike? That way if someone sees the product, they'll have a name to look up online later.

- How about giving a free kit to a few up & coming boarders, or even a boarder or two you see who aren't well known but who you think are really good? The pros will probably demand sponsorship dollars, but maybe a talented rookie will do it for the free swag initially (plus a promise that if your business takes off, and the kid becomes a star boarder you could sponsor him).

[networkmemetics]

You have no social proof on the website...If you are going to talk about cool photos of light arcs, you need to show cool photos of light arcs.

Lots of work to be done on the copy, as per Kamikiri's suggestion

[Tofegorat]

Ok, would you be able to be more specific about the copy? I tried to follow the guidelines of various copywriting tutorials. Of course im still learning so im not going to do it perfectly the first time.

And yeah, I hear what your saying about the light arcs, considering the product doesnt exist yet Ill have to photoshop some more.
Thanks for the tips!

[webgal]

Considering your market, the copy is a good start. It has to speak in their language and basically they just want to look cool. They are not going to be big readers and will skim the page. That market isn't known for patience. For that reason, I'd move the product with the neon to the top.

The comments seem bogus.

There are a number of things you can do but I think you have to start with trial by fire. I think that this is a product that will need social media product promotion. In other words, twitter or facebook. Post on forums that allow you to have a link under your name. That will boost your backlinks and make the market aware of you. I'd see if you can advertise on those websites and snowboarding forums, particularly those that rank well.

[Stephen]

I come from a warm country so snow I'd never buy this product as it’s pitched... however ten years ago I might have strapped it to my skateboard.

My recommendation is to have another landing page that sells specifically to the skateboarding fraternity - there's a lot more concrete than snow for most of the year. Also skateboarders are probably out more at night than snowboarders. (Enlarges your potential market.)

Of course you only need one selling page for both.

Another suggestion - Think about shooting and uploading video to YouTube – link your site to the video for social proof and the video to your site to hook the YouTube viewers - they don’t yet know your product exists yet. I read yesterday that YouTube is the second most used search engine after google - again, enlarges your market.