Please provide feedback on my opt-in page

[jaywenk]

Hello all,

After more good feedback from my last post - please take only 3.5 minutes to look at my new opt-in page and then give me some feedback:

http://www.smarterthanwallstreet.com/desire-market-growth/

Thanks,

Jay

[obue]

1. If it's that easy to make that much money, you should be able to afford doing a more professional video. Esp the audio quality is very low. Overall the video screams home made (though good for being home made) and it just gives the wrong impression.

2. You repeatedly say things like "almost no strings attached... you have to give us your email though" and "by exchanging only your email adress"... Your making a big thing out of the email adress, and it makes me think twice before I enter it. Generally I don't think too many people are scared of entering their email, so you don't need to stress this. Just say "no strings attached" and then in the end, something like "to get started, simply enter your email adress" or something else that doesn't say that "strings attached = your email"...

I also think you could do a more convincing job on the part where you say they're almost too good to be true... I'm kind of left with the impression that you think they're too good to be true yourself...

[jaywenk]

Thanks for the feeback. No one likes to hear the things they have to get better, but your honesty is appreciated.

The video is self made; but it was made with about $4k in brand new equipment, including a $400 wireless mic set. I guess I just need to learn how to use this stuff or pay someone else to make it for me.

Thanks again,

Jay

1. If it's that easy to make that much money, you should be able to afford doing a more professional video. Esp the audio quality is very low. Overall the video screams home made (though good for being home made) and it just gives the wrong impression.

2. You repeatedly say things like "almost no strings attached... you have to give us your email though" and "by exchanging only your email adress"... Your making a big thing out of the email adress, and it makes me think twice before I enter it. Generally I don't think too many people are scared of entering their email, so you don't need to stress this. Just say "no strings attached" and then in the end, something like "to get started, simply enter your email adress" or something else that doesn't say that "strings attached = your email"...

I also think you could do a more convincing job on the part where you say they're almost too good to be true... I'm kind of left with the impression that you think they're too good to be true yourself...

[mrhead]

I'd ditch the living room background and $5 white board for a green screen with some fancy post work. Some more audio post-work would definitely be a good idea..the sirens going off near the end of the video kinda threw me.

[jaywenk]

Funny - the "living room" is an $80,000 solid mahogony office ;). I had someone PM me to get rid of the cheap painting too, which was about $1,000. I guess I have pretty tacky taste in office decor. I just ordered a pro green screen and some pro lighting equip; now up to 5k in audio/video equip (jeesh this muse is getting expensive).

I agree the white board will be replaced with some post work bringing in professionally designed slides referrencing the same data but with some graphics depicting the growth as a chart also.

Yeah - the sirens are pretty horrible. Who'd of thunk an ambulance would drive by at midnite when I recorded this demo.

I'll incorporate these ideas into version 3 and then see what everyone thinks. Any additional ideas are welcome too.

Thanks,

Jay

I'd ditch the living room background and $5 white board for a green screen with some fancy post work. Some more audio post-work would definitely be a good idea..the sirens going off near the end of the video kinda threw me.

[nghs22]

I like it Jay. Just incorporate the advice from above and it'll be alot better