Your article goes along with my favorite quote on critics:

“To criticize is to persuade the author that he didn’t do it the way I would, if I knew how to”. – Karel Capek

You might want to look for something you would love to do, e.g. a hobby that for some reason, such as negative feedback, you didn’t dare to pick up yet. Then go ahead and visualize yourself spending time on this hobby.

Do some research on what it’s all about, who else has this hobby, and what they say about it. When you feel ready, go tell those people you are closest to and fear the worst criticism of (that’s relatives or close friends, keep your coworkers out of this for the time being).

I’m aware this is the hardest part, but I did it, and it worked wonders for me. If you’re very afraid, I recommend learning a bit about rhetorics and body language, that tends to be rather reassuring.

Because once the news are out, people can twitch and kick as much as they like, they will have to accept the change eventually, and you might even find unlikely allies.

On a sidenote, it helps to be really annoyed, as in, beyond good and evil, with your current situation. That’s a great motivation to go up against both inertia and heavy criticism.

In any case, keep in mind that at the end, you’ll have a ton of fun!

I’d say you begin with a “for your eyes only” journal. Allow yourself the spaciousness of a no-judgment zone where all your feelings are allowed to be felt & expressed privately. Where what you really feel about people or events can be expressed. Start here so you begin to let out some of the steam of what’s been stifled for so long. And then in small ways begin to say no when you need to e.g. saying no to a friend’s invite when you’re tired.

I do rec getting connected to your personal needs and if you (or anyone else) wants the list of universal needs just drop me an line.

You were asking for help and how to get started. I feel for you as I too lived a large part of my life being bound up in niceties and wanted to make peace with every evil bastard out there. But now at age 56, I say

to hell with all that.

And with good reason. Honesty, integrity and authenticity has its own rewards.

Getting real and keeping it real means you cut to the chase faster and get the heart of the matter in time to make a difference.

Here’s a true story from yesterday:

So we get a call from a family member that a certain person had died from advance liver disease. Now this guy was a genuine bastard. Seven years of my life were “wasted” (nothing is really ever wasted but its a matter of perspective.) being intimidated by this blow hard bully. Carlo Rossi, gallon jugs btw, were his undoing. It was rather unexpected since he had been released from the hospital with some meds the week before and they thought they had caught it in time and he had dodged a bullet.

So with news fresh in my mind and since he was my contemporary, my own mortality was kind of spooking me. Yet, I take my vitamins, supplements, nutrition, exercise and mind state very seriously and basically I really, truly enjoy my life and live in gratitude for all that I have, all that I do and all that I breathe.

So I am in line at walmart, purchasing some protein bars and the woman in front of me, about my age, mid-fifties, raspy voice, asks the cashier for some cigarettes. The girl reaches for a pack and the lady says, “No, no, no, I need the whole carton.”

The small coughs and hacks inbetween heard words told me she is days, weeks, or months away from Emphysema and/or congestive heart failure. Afterall, its how my dad died.

“Uh, excuse me, don’t mind me saying so… but has anyone ever told you that smoking is not good for you.”

Of course someone has told her. I am not her doctor, but Geez Louise, sometimes you just got tell the truth and be a witness to what’s right and what’s wrong.

So my advice is keep it real with family, friends and those you come in contact with. In the end it is appreciated. The enormity of living on purpose has its own reward, innately you know what’s true, so does everyone else, we just have to be reminded once in awhile.

Garey