Some owners aren’t out dealing with customers for a reason, particularly executive chefs. The reason is they are either busy riding the wait staff and/ or have a near complete lack of people skills. Remember, they are artists first and foremost.

Asking to see people(owner, chef, etc.) when an establishment is busy, is a terrible idea. We’re already running around like the proverbial chicken, don’t make our life more difficult. We’re having a hard enough time remembering 3 different martinis, two entrees, and the extra mayo for table 2, if you make more work for us than we already expect, you WILL NOT be in our good graces. Instead, come see us in our down hours. Come in and get to know us, and it’ll go a lot further.

I state this as someone who has been in the restaurant industry for almost 15 years and has been a part of it all his life.

1. Do not EVER ask to talk to the owner, unless you have something specific that you would like to talk about. 1) The owner will likely not be there anyway and 2) if they are there and are not highly visible, they do not want to speak to anyone. If the owner would like to talk to people, they will make the rounds through the restaurant.

2. When you ask the server (dear god, don’t refer to them as waiters if you want to be treated like anything other than an dingbat) to ask the chef what his two favorite items are, you’re doing one thing wrong: pissing off your server. Any server worth his or her salt will know the answers to those two questions and they are the front line to you getting proper service the next time anyway. I have met very few chefs in my day who exert any sort of presence with guests in the front of the house. Those that do are typically “celebrity” chefs and trying to kiss their ass is futile.

8. Don’t choose the cheapest wine. That’s absurd. Anytime you order wine by price, you’re setting yourself up for failure. If you aren’t familiar with a wide range of varietals, ask your server or the sommelier for guidance. And that thing about the second cheapest wine makes absolutely no sense and I don’t know why you would ever bring that up as anything resembling a fact. Restaurants do not arbitrarily mark up wines at different percentages based on perceived value. Food, yes. Beer, sometimes. Booze, almost always. Wine, never.

9. DO NOT EVER DO THIS. PLEASE DEAR GOD, DO NOT DO THIS. If you call a restaurant and have the audacity to tell them that you would give them your business more often if you were looked after better is so effing rude that I would consider asking you to dine elsewhere based simply on that. Every single guest in a restaurant deserves the same quality of attention from the staff, whether they order the filet or hamburger, a bottle of Grange or 2 glass of water. If you somehow feel that you deserve more attention than any other person sitting in that restaurant, you’re out of your mind.

If you’d like proper advice, do this:

1) Become a regular.
2) Get to know the staff. Shake their hands and tell them your name.
3) Tip them well, but do not overdo it.
4) Order the same thing three or four times in a row and suddenly the staff member will know what you want. I assure you that if they remember that, you are officially a VIP.
5) Once they remember what you order, throw them some curveballs and they’ll still remember you.
6) Do NOT ever act as if you deserve treatment any different than anyone else. That is at your server or bartender’s discretion.