Depression: How You Label Determines How You Feel 155 Comments

Written by Tim Ferriss Topics: Filling the Void

This post was not planned.

But… I have lost two close friends from both high school and college to suicide, and Heath Ledger’s unexpected death, which shows all the signs of suicide, saddened me on a profound level. It just shouldn’t happen.

To paraphrase Dan Sullivan: the problem isn’t the problem. It’s how you think about the problem that’s the problem.

Here are three concepts that I and others have found useful for preventing the inevitable ups and downs from becoming self-destructive thinking and behavior:

1. Depression is just one phase of a natural biorhythm and thus both transient and needed…

Energy and interest are cyclical. Nothing can peak or sustain red-zone RPMs forever. Normal people exhibit alternating periods of high-output and low-output, the latter being recovery periods during which depleted neurotransmitters stores regenerate, fatigued neural networks recover, etc..

The symptoms of depression often just reflect a system undergoing routine maintenance.

Fixating on the symptoms as “depression” becomes self-fulfilling and can lead to a downward spiral. Don’t jump to conclusions. Having recurring down cycles is natural. Thinking about them as unnatural, and the poor — sometimes devastating — decisions that follow, is what does the damage.

2. How you label determines how you feel.

Don’t use the term “depression,” which is loaded with negative and clinical connotations, without considering other labels that might be more appropriate. “Loneliness” or “isolation” are two common substitutes which are not just more precise but more actionable (the term “depression” doesn’t suggest a solution).

In their fascinating study “Would you be happier if you were richer?”, published in Science, Princeton professors Alan Krueger and Daniel Kahneman, winner of the 2002 Nobel Prize for his work in behavioral economics, found that perhaps the best indicator of happiness was frequency of eating with friends and family.

If you have to chose one activity to produce an emotional upswing, start breaking bread more often with those who make you smile.


3. Gratitude training can be used pre- or mid-depressive symptoms to moderate the extremes and speed the transition.

It’s frighteningly easy to develop pessimistic blinders and lose sight of the incredible blessings and achievements in our lives. This is common when a single identity — for example, job title and function — leads you to measure self-worth using one or two metrics (like income or promotions, usually in comparison to others) dependent on some variables outside of your control.

Recalibrate your perspective, and prevent over-investment of ego in one area of life, with scheduled gratitude training that takes a holistic inventory of the positive people and achievements in your life.

###

None of this is intended as medical advice. If you need help, there are people waiting for your call, both friends and professionals:

1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)
Hotlines in your state can be found on this page

Sorry for the somber topic, but lifestyle ain’t much without life.

Statistically, out of the millions of people who visit this blog, a fair number will consider or attempt suicide. I want to know that I at least made an effort to prevent such terrible loss.

Be safe and be optimistic. There is a lot to be grateful for… and just as much to look forward to.

Pura vida.

[P.S. This is a serious post for me. I can take a good verbal jab, but not on this one. Please no poor humor or nonsense in the comments, or I will permanently blacklist you from this blog with no exceptions.]

Posted on January 23rd, 2008

Comment Rules: Remember what Fonzie was like? Cool. That's how we're gonna be -- cool. Critical is fine, but if you're rude, we'll delete your stuff. Please do not put your URL in the comment text and please use your PERSONAL name or initials and not your business name, as the latter comes off like spam. Have fun and thanks for adding to the conversation! (Thanks to Brian Oberkirch for the inspiration)

155 Responses to “Depression: How You Label Determines How You Feel”

  • Ricardo
    January 23rd, 2008
    6:48 am

    Hi Tim,

    this is a great post I gotta say.

    Once in a while I also feel somehow unmotivated and undriven, but thats a normal biorhytmic thing like you mentioned above.

    My tip for people which are looking to fight their depression is: Start doing some sport! Sports helps keeping your body healthy and erases all your problems for some hours. Don’t forget the happiness you feel when you just defeated you friends in a match of soccer, no matter if it is just for fun or not. At least that helps for me when I’m unmotivated, tired and undriven.

  • Allen
    January 23rd, 2008
    6:51 am

    Low times are not only normal, but we need them. Pain, unhappiness and depression give us a reason to get up and do something. Somewhere I read that the best way to deal with pain whether physical or mental is to pay attention to it, study it, accept it, really feel it, rather than ignore or try to distract ourselves from it. Only then can we deal with it.

    “This is the greatest moment of your life and you’re off somewhere, missing it.” – fight club

  • Declan
    January 23rd, 2008
    7:02 am

    As someone who suffered badly from depression i can recommend in addition to the post above, varied exercise, cutting back on stimulants like caffeine and taking natural supplements 5http (tryptophan), chromium, and HDA (from Tamarind root). These really really helped.
    If you live in the Northern hemisphere where there is a lack of light in winter, full spectrum bulbs are great.

  • Matt Moran
    January 23rd, 2008
    7:03 am

    Thanks for that, Tim – useful & timely, & I think you may be right about how you label your mood affecting the mood itself. Have you noticed how much the pharmaceutical industry is making off these so-called “disorders” that didn’t exist in any medical textbook 30 years ago?

  • Andy
    January 23rd, 2008
    7:32 am

    A much needed post at this time of year. January always has the potential to be a down month. Nothing to celebrate, no money (after spending too much on the multi national corporate that is xmas.) etc…
    I surround myself with the people who are closest. THose who know and love me and value me for who I am. The meals with family and friends is so very true. Exercise is also a winner.
    I then have to trust myself and believe that the up-turn is just around the corner.

  • Jeff
    January 23rd, 2008
    8:02 am

    I have suffered from clinical depression most of my adult life (I am 55). Its important to distiguish between “normal” highs and lows, blues, etc., and serious clinical depression requiring medical intervention with medication and/or talk therapy.

    The NIH has good info as a starting point if you want to learn more and do a self-evaluation. Our society has a poor understanding of the disease and stigmatizes those of us who suffer with it. Comments such as “you’ll get over it”, “let it go”, etc., are not helpful, can make things worse, and are based on ignorance and stupidity.

  • Mark
    January 23rd, 2008
    8:04 am

    Hi Tim

    Thanks for the sobering post on a tough subject, and one that we don’t really tend to discuss all that often in society.

    For anyone who might be looking for some inspiration I just posted a discussion on my site that I recently had with Scott Rigsby.

    Scott is the FIRST physically challenged double amputee athlete to complete the Hawaii IronMan Triathlon.

    http://www.mytropicalescape.com/2008/01/21/scott-rigsby-do-the-unthinkable-interview/

    He is truly an AMAZING human being and someone who dramatically turned his life around from depression and despair to “doing the unthinkable.”

    Apologies in advance if you don’t allow links in your comment section.
    Mark

  • Vicki O'Brien
    January 23rd, 2008
    8:09 am

    Hi Tim,
    Thank you for your timely and heartfelt post. Normal ups and downs are part of life, but some people get stuck in the downs due to no fault of their own. Self-medicating with drugs and alcohol only makes it worse. Dr. Amen has a great website about brain research that can help explain why some people get stuck in their depression and can’t find a way out. http://www.amenclinics.com/
    There are so many avenues of help available for someone who suffers. Unfortunately, if they are already stuck then they are not going to be able to advocate for themselves to get the help they need. I really appreciate your suggestions and the follow up comments. I hope someone who needs help reads this, or someone who can help a friend takes some action. Keep up the terrific posts.

  • Michael Fisher
    January 23rd, 2008
    8:12 am

    I think Anthony Robbins has an incredibly accurate “take” on depression and negative emotions in general. One of his principles is that you aren’t “depressed” — rather, you are “DOING depression.” Meaning, you are playing a recipe for depression, through your physiology (how you are breathing, how you are sitting or standing, what habitual facial expressions you fall into, etc.), through your language (how you are representing things), and through your focus (primarily the questions you are asking yourself).

    In other words, “depressed” people tend to find ways to be depressed — through habitual patterns of physiology, language, and focus. Someone depressed tends to slump, to move very little, to breathe shallowly, to have a sad or slack facial expression, to stare vacantly and turn inward, etc. They also tend to frame things in poor language (as Tim pointed out, the very term “depressed” is poor and self-inducing language). And they tend to ask poor questions, which directs their focus inappropriately. Rather than asking what they can be grateful for, they ask “why does this always happen to me?” or things like that.

    And some people get really good at playing their habitual recipes for depression.

    The good news is, for most, you can break up those patterns and replace them with new ones.

    The first and easiest step is to change your physiology. Emotion comes from motion. Just MOVE. Make yourself SMILE. Even if you don’t want to. Make yourself BREATHE and move around and open your eyes. Put on some music: It’s hard to be depressed if you are dancing.

    The second thing to do is change your focus. Figure out what negative or unanswerable questions you are dwelling on, and change them. Ask a better question, create a better life. Instead of “Why did so-and-so leave me?” ask “What could be really good about this?” and “What can I do NOW to create a better life, a better me?” and “Who do I love and who loves me, and how does that make me feel?” and “What’s really great in my life right now, and what excites me?”

    Create new habits of movement, of physiology; create new language where your old language isn’t serving you; and create new habitual questions.

    So many of those we have lost to suicide would be with us still — and they would be with us HAPPILY — if only they had been able to break up the internal recipes they were playing that were causing them to fall into habitual depressive states.

    Side note: I think it is revealing that Tim points out one of the best “recipes” for happiness as being eating with close friends and family. Such an environment almost ensures that you will be in a more energetic, “up” physiology, sitting up (rather than slumped), smiling, laughing, breathing, eyes open, gesturing, etc., as well as ensuring that you are not falling into looping negative inner monologues. Your physiology is changed; your focus and questions are changed; your language is apt to be more lively and less negative or caustic. You are moving, breathing, smiling, laughing, talking about things that interest or excite you.

    No wonder it helps make you happy.

  • [wm]
    January 23rd, 2008
    8:25 am

    There isn’t any conclusive evidence, yet, of suicide but thank you anyway for bringing up this topic. Indeed, what is lifestyle without a life…

    The best decision that I had made in my life, which freed me from Depression (although it still comes like a thief in the night), was to commit myself to a man with the optimism of a kid.

  • Peadar Coyle
    January 23rd, 2008
    8:34 am

    This is an issue very close to my heart. I’m a student at a top UK university, but of Irish birth (as my name indicates) and my mother has Bipolar Disorder, sometimes termed Manic Depression. Last year I very nearly made a suicide attempt, which is a horrible thing to admit to. The effect of pharmaceuticals on psychiatric care does have some benefits, Olanzapine which my mum is on has made her life livable, but however the sure number of people on Prozac and other such drugs for what is merely sometimes an inability to appreciate that life sometimes needs downtime. As a physics student I certainly know that nature is cyclic, it is this that makes nature work. I’ve lost a few friends to suicide, and almost lost my best friend to it too, and this is a very ’sad’ time of the year as my grandmother always observes to me. Depression is something that has given me the capacity to feel more, and being sensitive to the world around you is a mere facet of being a highly intelligent individual. I want to share one anecdote, which I feel is probably the best thing I can say. I was at a coffee house with a girl i just met, and an old friend, and about 40 mins into the conversation I remembered why I had recognized her face, she had lost her boyfriend to suicide, about 3 weeks before that. She also typical of her sharp intelligence told me (as I was just recovering from some severe depression, or downtime, or whatever you want to term it) that I wasn’t my emotions, that I wasn’t the state I identified myself with. I thank her to this day, for that observation. We are not our personalities, we are not static, we are like vectors not scalars (to use a mathematical analogy) we improve, and change and adapt. Thank you very much Tim Ferris.

  • Michael Martine
    January 23rd, 2008
    8:57 am

    I’m sorry that you have lost friends. It’s odd how some celebrity deaths can really affect us. I was surprised to find myself crying when Princess Diana died, for example.

    I find it really interesting and helpful that you make a distinction between depression as unactionable and other labels as being more actionable. I have always found action of any kind the best way to alter an emotional state.

  • Becky
    January 23rd, 2008
    8:57 am

    Tim, I do think this post will help some people. Thank you.

    I lost my husband to depression several years ago (he was 31), and while I think the advice you’ve given here is one part of the solution, it’s not the whole thing, especially for people with chronic severe depression – the kind that lasts for years. One of the issues my husband struggled with was thinking his depression was his fault, and that he should have been able to handle it on his own, when he really did need help in order to be able to help himself. He finally went to a doctor, and was beginning to see that it wasn’t a personal failure, but that’s when he killed himself. Sunshine, exercise, and attitude will do a world of good, but if you can’t pull yourself up enough to do those things, and you’ve felt depressed for a long time (as opposed to the normal lows you’re talking about), it might be time to seek professional help.

    It’s such a tragedy when someone takes their own life because of pain they feel powerless to escape, or because they can’t see what a brilliant light they are in the world.

  • Marvin
    January 23rd, 2008
    9:02 am

    There is so much truth in your words here, Tim.

    As someone who’s survived the black dog of depressive illness – and it is an illness, it’s not a weakness as some might suggest – I can speak from personal experience of the dark depths that exist in the human psyche.

    It’s important to realize, though, that when one is in the midst of a depressive episode, one really can’t think straight. Seen from the clarity of distance, suicide isn’t a rational response. But when one is swimming in the dark muck of depression, rationality takes a back seat to the avalanche of pain, loneliness and despair.

    For me personally, I can attest to the fact that properly prescribed medication and cognitive behaviour therapy quite literally saved my life. Were it not for an insightful physician, a gentle-yet-firm therapist and – yes – the pharmaceutical industry, I would probably not be here typing these words and enjoying Tim’s blog.

    Does that mean that I never get “down” or feel “the blues” anymore? No, of course not. But, as Tim mentions, those are naturally occurring cycles and I now recognize them as such, rather than perceive them as the possible beginning of a downward spiral that could last, well, the rest of my life…

    Good words, Tim. Thanks.

  • Deas Nealy
    January 23rd, 2008
    9:02 am

    Tim,

    I appreciate your addressing this problem. I have been blessed to not have a great deal of depression in my life, but there were some difficult times. I completely agree with your comments. Its sad that folks cannot see the joy in living in both the good times and bad. I really appreciate your passion to free individuals from their perception that they are trapped. Depression is a trap and giving advice on how to escape it is very thoughtful of you.

    Until you lose someone to a tragedy such as suicide do you really understand what your true problems are. If more of us would take charge of their lives and make changes they would truely appreciate the voyage that life presents.

    Take care and thanks for all your insights.

  • Yuppie Sherpa
    January 23rd, 2008
    9:05 am

    I remember reading the stories of two young people who committed suicide because they had dug themselves so far into debt that they couldn’t see any way out of it. And on the flip side, we constantly see wealthy celebrities battling depression. Goes to show that you can’t define happiness using someone else’s standards.

  • Paul
    January 23rd, 2008
    9:13 am

    I think the other thing to consider is that there is a distinction between a cyclical downtime, and clinical depression. I think maybe Tim was drawing a distinction in his post between the two, but I don’t want to put words in his mouth.

    Shooting from the hip, I’d say 90% of people on anti-depression drugs aren’t having depression. They’re just experiencing some downtime and need to get out with friends, volunteer at a homeless shelter, or stop and think about what they can truly be grateful for. However, if they start calling it depression, focus on all the bad things in their life, and start taking anti-depression drugs, then it creates a downward spiral.

    On the other hand, there are those that truly have clinical depression and may benefit from anti-depression drugs (as well as the things mentioned above).

  • » No Lifestyle Without Life
    January 23rd, 2008
    9:16 am

    [...] Tim wrote a serious blog post on the topic of depression and suicide. (You need to read [...]

  • Tyson Williams
    January 23rd, 2008
    9:34 am

    Thanks for sharing it Tim, many of us had a chance to experience it directly or indirectly in one form or another. That’s what makes us human after all.

  • Drew
    January 23rd, 2008
    9:39 am

    Thanks for that post. Last year was devastating for me. I changed jobs four times, dropped out of two different grad schools, and lived and three different apartments. Adjusting to these different changes was, at times, devastating. I was on medication briefly, which helped, but the biggest help came from staying as involved in my life as I could — I talked to friends, kept trying new things and shared my difficulties. Now, things are much better.

    Thanks for posting on depression as a natural part of the life cycle. One of my professors said it best, nothing is permanent, both pain and happiness fade and return. Such is life.

  • Sarah
    January 23rd, 2008
    9:47 am

    The day I realized that I was the author of my own negative self-talk absolutely changed my life.

    If it was ME that was coming up with this negative, self-defeating criticism, that hurt no-one but me…well, I could certainly stop doing that, and focus on the good stuff.

  • Ian
    January 23rd, 2008
    9:47 am

    The main thing that got me out of my depression that was caused by my uncontrolled anxiety (I hate to say “anxiety disorder.. that implies I had no involvement with creating my own situation) was realizing that as long as I don’t fear the fear of something, the actual “thing” isnt so bad. I would cause myself needless worry by being scared of the thought of having a panic attack again. When I forced myself to re-experience one, it wasnt as bad as I remembered, and that gave me a little control.

  • YGG
    January 23rd, 2008
    9:48 am

    Thanks for a thoughtful & timely post.

  • M.E. Baz
    January 23rd, 2008
    9:54 am

    I know how you feel. the news reminds us of our own experiences with the subject. A friend committed suicide after spending the weekend with us and making jokes about doing so, which we didn’t take seriously enough. So much left unsaid. Let’s hope for Mr. Ledger’s family’s sake it was an accident. Prayers to them.

    Sent from my mobile using FeedM8

  • Rich Cook
    January 23rd, 2008
    10:04 am

    Wow! I, too, was hit by the death of Heath Ledger although suicide was not something I’d considered. Your post and the following comments hit the nail squarely on the head – depression is a state of mind not an infection that can be simply treated with drugs. I applaud your efforts, Tim, to deal with this very real issue. I, too, have been labeled at various times in my life as “depressed” and it always depressed me to be so labeled. From now on, I pledge not to use that label and to seek out family and friends and other “natural” solutions to my funk.

    Thank you!

  • paula
    January 23rd, 2008
    10:27 am

    As a lifetime genetic sufferer of chronic major depression, it often isn’t possible to pull yourself out without drugs. After an extended period of depression, your hippocampus actually shrinks, making it a physical disease. As far as I have been able to find out, it does not grow back. Yes there are dips in everyone’s life, but real major depression is like a pit that you cannot climb out of. Would you treat schizophrenia with gratitude therapy?

  • Annette
    January 23rd, 2008
    10:28 am

    Compassion is a beautiful thing. Thanks for writing about this topic that effects so many people on our planet

  • Philip Fortuna
    January 23rd, 2008
    10:30 am

    As someone writing a guideline for existentially-depressed youth I can relate to this post personally.

    We all need downtime yet we’re swomped with the always-on mentality. From inspirational quotes to people who see you as one dimensional worker bee. Depression is a signal that somethings wrong and needs fixing, and sometimes thats just spending time with loved ones and letting the body fix itself.

  • Dave
    January 23rd, 2008
    10:34 am

    As a reader who was recently diagnosed as “Bi-Polar” – (the newfangled name of “Manic Depression”) – I can relate to extreme highs, and deep lows. On the one hand, I agree that when one labels oneself or is given the label of “depressed” it is self fulfilling. On the other hand, the new label – “bi-polar” is not descriptive of the behavior.

    One thing that has been a struggle has been overcoming the “diagnosis” – sure, a lot of my life is clearer now that I understand my cycles were a heck of a lot more extreme than the average person.

    One book that helped – and I recommend, especially to readers of this blog, is “The Hypomanic Edge” – subtitle: The Link Between a little craziness and a lot of the success in America – by John D Gartner. Very insightful. It’s a good read for anyone interested in the psychology of visionaries that shaped our country.

    After reading it, I realized that the extreme swings allowed much more energy and creativity, and that the lows can be managed – Now I feel blessed.

    My two cents regarding the best natural cures: Exercise, Good nutrition, good sleep, and of course, good social and family support.

    Thanks for the post, and the opportunity to comment.

  • Erik Cox
    January 23rd, 2008
    10:35 am

    Thanks for posting on such a sorry and impactful subject this morning… may it reach someone and prevent another tragic outcome.

    Erik

  • John
    January 23rd, 2008
    10:35 am

    Tim,

    Thanks for this post. I never expected it and was even surprised to know it helped me. When I was in high school I was suicidal. Depression is something I struggled with for years and thankfully was able to over-come and live a happy life. But there are times when I’m down and because of the past…I panic. I don’t want to go down that spiral again.

    After reading your post as simple as the suggestion may be, I never considered the way I label my feelings. I feel immediately better knowing next time I feel ‘down’ I won’t call it “depression”. You’re exactly right when depression suggests no solution…at least not a positive one.

    I’ve read your book and put so much into place in my life and business. I’m 28 and I have 2 businesses that can run without me and I get to spend each day with my wife doing whatever we want. I have a lot to be happy about and thankful for.

    But I want to thank you for helping me create a lifestyle that leads to happiness and for incredible insight into handling my depression next time it arises. For the first time in a long time I’m not scared about it.

    Thank you!
    John

  • Laynie
    January 23rd, 2008
    10:37 am

    It looked like suicide, but I really hope it wasn’t; I thought of him as a very sensitive and mature person, and a role model for many young people.

  • Trish
    January 23rd, 2008
    10:38 am

    As someone who has struggled with clinical depression for several years, your suggestions don’t ring true for me.

    For me, depression IS a steady state — not just one phase of a natural biorhythm, not transient. Believe me, I tried for months to rest saying, “I’m not depressed, I’m just a little burned out.” On month 7 of sleeping 15 hours a day, it was time to face that I wasn’t going to rest my way out of my malaise.

    There was nothing really “wrong” with my life. I had a lot of things going on that I was grateful for. I’m sure, if it turns out Heath Ledger did commit suicide, we’re going to hear a lot of the same things we heard after Owen Wilson’s alleged attempt: He had so much going for him, what did he have to be depressed about.

    To me, that’s, like, the definition of real depression — everything is going well, life has it’s normal ups and downs, and you still feel like crap for months on end.

    I agree that people throw the word ‘depression’ around blithely, when other words are more appropriate. If someone close to you dies and you feel bad, you aren’t so much depressed as sad, which is a normal transient emotion. If your only personal association with the word ‘depressed’ is how you feel when something tragic happens in your life, it is hard to wrap your head the kind of continual agony that leads to suicide.

    BUT… I don’t think that the people who say ‘depressed’ when they are really just lonely/sad/burned-out are the same people that are in danger of killing themselves.

    AND… in my experience, there are a lot of people who are saying they are just lonely/sad/burned-out, when they really ARE suffering from clinical depression. These are people who could really benefit from admitting they are depressed and getting medical and psychological help.

    It should also be said that not everyone who is clinically depressed is suicidal. There are a lot of people for whom medical and psychological intervention can help to alleviate crippling-but-not-fatal cases of clinical depression.

    I guess what I’m trying to say is that I can agree that people should avoid the word ‘depression’ IF they are referring to a transient emotion. But if you’re suicidal or if your negative feelings don’t alleviate with time and changes in circumstance, then avoiding the word ‘depression’ isn’t going to help, especially if it keeps you from facing the problem and seeking professional help.

  • snachodog
    January 23rd, 2008
    10:43 am

    Tim, that was an excellent post. Your concern for others is awesome.

    I really appreciate this post.

    -snachodog

  • Cyrus
    January 23rd, 2008
    10:45 am

    Good tip on the gratitude. I once did an exercise where I listed out 5 things for which I was truly grateful every morning for 30 days. The trick is you can’t list the same thing more than once. It worked wonders in my life.

  • Wyatt Song
    January 23rd, 2008
    10:50 am

    I lost a friend & colleague of mine last year to suicide, leaving his young wife and a baby daughter behind. It was a huge shock, also made me realise that not everyone has the ability to manage and cope with their emotional unbalance.

    I wish more people could see such great advice as the gratitude training, and can reach out to seek help when needed.

  • Keith
    January 23rd, 2008
    10:50 am

    I’ve been kind of a lurker here for a while. I enjoyed that post and I agree with what you have to say, and laud your attempt at advocacy.

    Could I link to this article on my blog?

    Thanks.

    ###

    Hi Keith,

    Of course. Please do.

    Thanks,

    Tim

  • Brandon W
    January 23rd, 2008
    10:57 am

    Tim, I appreciate your post and it helps, as I’m going through a bit of a rough time right now myself. As a fellow Costa Rican traveler, I think your sign-off – Pura Vida – and all the meaning behind it is something good to keep in mind when we have our bad moments.

    I wish you well and remember – Pura Vida!

  • Steve from Huntington Beach
    January 23rd, 2008
    10:59 am

    This may be the most beneficial post you’ve ever made, Tim. I wasn’t exactly sure where you were coming from before….I got a taste of cockiness which may have been my own misguided judgment. But this post, has got me firmly in your corner.

    This is great stuff….a great message. I am proud of what you have contributed and will pass it along to my circle….as I loving break bread with them.

    You rock!

    Steve from H.B.

  • Never the Same River Twice
    January 23rd, 2008
    11:12 am

    Thanks for this timely post. I live in the great white north of Michigan and have some issues with S.A.D. (seasonal affective disorder). What it has taught me over time is that it is okay to be less productive on those dark and gloomy days (like today). It’s okay to stay home on the weekend, curled up on the couch. It’s okay to not be a rockstar all the time. That’s natural, that’s nature. Sometimes you’ve got to hibernate.

    Plus, I more than make up for it in the summer!

  • Kerul
    January 23rd, 2008
    11:22 am

    This line, from the movie “Bullworth” is both humorous and still worthy advice:
    “Never make life or death decisions when you’re feeling suicidal.”

  • Kim from NYC
    January 23rd, 2008
    11:23 am

    Tim: You really are very special. Thank you for everything you are! “To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived – that is to have succeeded.” Boy if that ain’t you in a nutshell – then I don’t know what is!

    My condolences for the loss of your two friends.

  • Jason Ness
    January 23rd, 2008
    11:26 am

    Tim, Sorry for the winded post but its great to see compassion and serious recognition of the awesome power that depression can have if its not handled correctly. More people should be alert to the fact that its not unbeatable. I was first diagnosed at 16 with ‘clinical’ depression and from there began a long and intense downward spiral – being told by my parents, doctors, counselors, and myself that I was ill and had to find ways to live with my illness. I was institutionalized twice for major breakdowns. I was medicated through most of my 20’s and into my 30’s on large dosages of anti-depressants. I couldn’t feel anything, happy or sad, unless I drank or used other drugs, further pushing me down the spiral. Every time I took the pills morning and night, I’d be reminded of my lot in life – I had this disease. Then one day while sitting in the latest round of group therapy that I’d been coming to for 2 years, gathering with the other depressed and decidedly diseased, it hit me: how will sitting here convincing each other we’re sick and its not our fault ever help us get on with life? All this approach has done is exacerbate the so called disease and interfered with most of my existence! In a moment that felt like a scene from a Hollywood comedy, I stood up and announced that I had enough being ‘depressed’ and that I was going to take responsibility for my thoughts and my moods. I was finished with medication and with this circle jerk of cajoling each other into escaping life. Looking back the reactions from the group were quite priceless. Some (doctors included) thought I was crazy to suggest it, and others wanted to come with me. But the main point is I did it. I went out to live. I went to a downtown boxing gym and started boxing without ever having thrown a punch in my life. I read every feel good book I could get my hands on using the techniques I discovered to realign my focus from being sick to being alive. I’ve been pharmacy and psychiatrist free for 3 years and have never felt better. In the last 2 years I’ve lived and enjoyed more life than I ever had before – traveling Asia for over a year, aligning my work with my passion, developing incredible relationships with people from all walks of life, and doing things I’d never had the balls to dream of doing 4 years ago. Of course I have bad days, but that’s the beauty of it – what’s most important for me is can feel the bad days along with the good days.

    Thanks for this forum Tim!
    Cheers everyone.

  • Mick
    January 23rd, 2008
    11:29 am

    Great post! I have dealt with pretty severe depression, both with myself and family members. I too hope this post will help a few of the millions of readers out there.

  • Jeremy
    January 23rd, 2008
    11:31 am

    Tim, thanks for the post. I was quite saddened to hear about Heath on the news as well.

    Do you care to share any of your lowest points, and explain what you did to overcome it?

    For me, I’ve always found that if I take some time to think about what is really bothering me – and how it can be fixed – that immediately helps a lot. Also, I find learning something new after that point helps to bring my mood up quite nice.

  • Kevin C
    January 23rd, 2008
    11:33 am

    I’m really grooving with life right now, but it wasn’t always like that. I lost almost everything after 9/11 and was reduced to borrowing from family to pay the bills while I worked cleaning grocery stores at night. That was a rough, rough time and it included some treatment for depression.

    I wouldn’t wish those dark moments on anyone, where you wish you were almost anywhere other than in your own skin. All I can say is, nothing lasts forever and there are ways out. Life is worth the living.

    Thanks for this post, Tim.

  • Jenny
    January 23rd, 2008
    11:33 am

    Tim

    I just wanted to add something to people out there struggling with addictions, as I did for many years and I’m only 29.

    If you struggle with addiction and can find the resolve and courage to slay that demon – it will become your greatest achievement. In return, the universe bestows a life to you – so brilliant it’s impossible to perceive.

    Take the first step and remember, the way you feel today is only today. It is never a reflection of forever.

    Wishing brilliance to all in 2008.

    “Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.

    And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy;

    And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.

    And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.”

  • Kathryn
    January 23rd, 2008
    11:37 am

    Excellent post and comments. I would highly recommend any of Dr. John DiMartini’s books and programs. His wise approach is useful for anyone wanting to be more in life incl those who deal with depression, mania, or grief. In short to over-simplify, any time we live in an extreme state (on either end of the scale) we are not seeing the full situation and we are setting ourselves up to fly back to the other extreme. We are most inspired and successful when we realize that out of all good, comes bad and vice versa. He has a process that allows you vividly see this at work in your own life. It is Einstien’s theory in real life practice. Check out The Breakthrough Experience or Count Your Blessings (which is about how to SEE the gratitude in your life.) His own personal story is quite inspiring too.

  • Bill
    January 23rd, 2008
    11:41 am

    This topic is real personal for me. Took me 15 years of a painful, bumpy slide downhill to hit rock bottom. Had to make that awful choice. Thankfully, I’ve got good friends that took my pain seriously. Now, I am grateful to be alive typing this comment.

    As an outsider it may be impossible to tell the difference between a natural cycle and something worse. After such a close call, I always assume worst case, even from a casual comment.

    If a friend is in enough pain to talk with me about it, I always make it clear I am available to talk 24 hours a day and urge them to see a health professional. And I call them and insist they call me, to see how things are going, frequently.

    I would like to add one more thing to the great info in the above post and comments. Don’t underestimate the importance of nutrition from quality food sources. Quality food sources being difficult to come by, Vitamin D-3 and fish oil were key factors in how I got my life back. I can definitely feel the difference between being in a natural cycle or down mood and what it was like to be severely depleted, nutritionally.

    There’s some great information and quality research at the Vitamin D Council.
    http://www.vitamindcouncil.com/

    I’m not a doctor. The is all personal experience, not medical advice.

  • David Gonzalez
    January 23rd, 2008
    11:43 am

    Very touching and deep post, Tim. Thanks for sharing these great tips and inspiring your readers to include tips (like writing out 5 things to be grateful for every morning for 30 days)!

    Connecting & helping our fellowmen & women is one of the best uses of the net & blogging that I have seen.

    I once heard my friend Richard Bandler, the creator of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) say:

    “Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem!”

  • david
    January 23rd, 2008
    11:47 am

    Based on what the stock market is doing, all this advice is really going to come in handy. (I wish I were joking.)

  • Aaron James
    January 23rd, 2008
    11:50 am

    Tim,
    Thank you for this post. It is sorely needed. In a country that practices “sickcare” rather than “healthcare,” the industry tries to give normal fluctuations a label. In turn, we all walk around diagnosing ourselves and each other, running out to buy the latest pharmaceutical “miracle.” This is not the answer.

    I was in the entertainment industry for years and see the strain it can take on you mentally and emotionally if you don’t surround yourself with good people, stay away from drugs and take care of yourself. I was saddened to see the news about Heath Ledger.

    On a lighter note, I enjoy your blog and the lifestyle you espouse. I had all the same thoughts and couldn’t understand why people thought I was crazy. Your book gave me that moment of clarity.

    I appreciate all the things you are accomplishing and for your call for people to live their best lives. Keep up the good work.

    All the best,
    Aaron James

  • Josh
    January 23rd, 2008
    12:06 pm

    Thanks

  • Chris
    January 23rd, 2008
    12:21 pm

    I read a comment above that said cutting out caffeine can help. I could not agree more. I have given up all caffeine in the last year. Right about the 20 to 30 day mark I just felt so good about myself. I was on a current high before I cut out the caffeine but the change was huge and sudden. I couldn’t get dressed in the morning without thinking hey you look good today. That for sure was not a normal morning process for me. I don’t want to sound vane but I found myself lingering in front of the mirror. It was almost like I was viewing myself for the first time. “Who is this handsome man in the mirror?” I had random thoughts of how good today was going to be. I would feel so strongly about it that I would say it out loud to myself…”today is going to be a good day.” When I was thinking about new things to take on my first thought was YOU CAN DO THIS CHRIS! No self doubt just solid self confidence. The only thing I can think it’s linked to is the caffeine fast I have been on. I recently told a friend of mine about it and he has had the same effect. I think he even said he feels more productive. He said he thought he would be too tired to work at the level he needed to but he found that he is less tired and twice as productive at work. I am convinced the change is due to no caffeine. If it is all in my head I don’t want to know otherwise. Haha.

  • Dan
    January 23rd, 2008
    12:25 pm

    You know Tim, this was very touching, I wish you had written it just about six weeks ago when I lost a good friend to suicide and my grandmother passed away, I had some problems with this myself. My respect for you has been raised considerably for this post.

  • isabelle
    January 23rd, 2008
    12:36 pm

    Thank you for the post. This is actually the first time I comment – I just had to.

    One of my high school friends are depressed. I know what you said about the term, and I totally agree, but there really isn’t a better word. It’s a typical sad story of not getting over her ex-boyfriend, abandoning her friends, having a lousy job.. you name it. In the last couple of weeks she’s started to talk about killing herself, and even though I’ve tried to take her to a psycolgist, she has refused. I’m one of the few friends she has left, and we’re not even living in the same city. It is so hard to see her “sink” like this, and I can’t do a lot but to listen.

    I totally agree with you regarding the problems and opportunities of labeling oneself. It sure made me feeling better:) I’ve given her the link to this post, and hopefully she’ll read it.

    Thank you so much for bringing up this sad but important question. You’re not only helping those in that particulary situation, but those around as well..

  • Enrique
    January 23rd, 2008
    12:50 pm

    Here a quote from my favourite author on this subject:
    “All depression has its roots in self-pity, and all self-pity is rooted in people taking themselves too seriously.”
    I read with pleasure other comments in tune with this motto, including Bandler’s quote above. I highly recommend Robbin’s books as a cure.

  • Peter
    January 23rd, 2008
    12:58 pm

    I have been suicidally depressed many times in my life.

    My ‘ah-ha’ moment that has since prevented any serious depressions came during an evolutionary psychology class in college.

    One hypothesis is that depression could not have made it down the millions of generations of humans and their ancestors unless it *served* you somehow. If it was hurting you (and your chances of mating), it would have been selected out of your genome. But there it is, to this day, strong as ever.

    The explanation could be that depression occurs when your belief system is incongruent with your local band of families (unfortunately in modern times, your band is registered by the brain as the entire society, making this incongruency easy to trigger). Look at the nonverbal communication of depression – your body slows down, your motivation decreases, your goals disappear, you become weak minded… what do all these nonverbals communicate? “There is something wrong, I need attention, the band needs to stop and figure this out”. In effect, the band needs to stop, focus on the depressed individual, and make adjustments. In many ways related, the nonverbals are very similar to those offered during an infection and illness.

    When I learned that depression was trying to serve me, to do something beneficial for me, I completely changed my attitude. Now I know that I need to focus on getting more connected with my ‘band of families’ (friends, real family, etc) when I feel depression sneaking in.

    Depression can be your friend :)

  • Tony from NC
    January 23rd, 2008
    1:08 pm

    Great post, and I agree with most everything you say, and the follow-up comments. As someone who has suffered from depression, I feel compelled to say that the poster who stated, “…depression is a state of mind not an infection that can be simply treated with drugs.” is not entirely accurate. For some it may be just a state of mind, but for many of us it is also a chemical imbalance that is VERY successfully treated with the right combination of medications AND changes in thought. I tried for several years to just “change my state of mind” and “snap out of it”, trying everything from exercise to a positive outlook to long vacations, but after months and months of angry episodes, mood swings (I’m not bipolar), loss of interest, fatigue, suicidal thoughts, etc., etc., etc., I visited my doctor and discussed my options…I chose to try an antidepressant. I also exercise, meditate, try to stay positive, and generally try to take care of myself like everyone else. The combination, I believe, has literally saved my life. I know drugs aren’t for everybody, but when it’s a chemical problem, telling someone to just “change your state of mind” is like telling a diabetic to “just WISH your blood sugar levels to stabilize”. Not likely to happen. Just my $0.02 worth.

    ###

    Tony, the last line is an excellent analogy. As overprescribed as anti-depressants are, there are cases where a combination of drugs and behavioral therapy are needed in tandem. The lesser chemical imbalances, as noted by others, can often be corrected with dietary modification and thought training, but serious clinical cases do exist.

    Thanks for the comment,

    Tim

  • Andreas
    January 23rd, 2008
    1:14 pm

    Hey Tim,

    Just wanted to say that this post was especially good and helpful. Hopefully as tragic as the loss of Heath Ledger is it isn’t compounded by learning that he felt no other option than to take his own life. That will be especially difficult for his young daughter in years to come. We all have hard times and how we deal with them defines us but there are differences between hard times and serious depression that goes beyond the ebb and flow of our mental states. Let’s hope that Heath’s death wasn’t by his own hand and if it sadly was that it makes others take a mental inventory not only of themselves but of those around them. Money and fame, kids and material wealth don’t exempt a person from sadness and shouldn’t deny him or anyone else of their right to feel sad.

  • Max - Latin Athletic - NYC
    January 23rd, 2008
    1:24 pm

    Hello Tim and Fellow Blog Readers…

    This is the best Blog Post i have ever read…

    Enough Said…

    Pura Vida

    Maximiliano – Latin Athletic

  • Chris Schaffer
    January 23rd, 2008
    1:34 pm

    I’ve also had friends close to me commit suicide and my mother has attempted and been hospitalized several times because of extreme depression and risk of suicide. And you are right that this is topic that is and should be somber.

    I think my middle school gym teacher had one of the best lines or explanation for why not to commit suicide, and it was, “Suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems.”

    Also, thank you for providing the help numbers. Those are great resources, I believe the two major ones listed, and I know many state numbers also offer Spanish help. Those numbers are there to help, and they will do anything they can to help anyone who calls regardless of language. In my own city one of my friends made a full two hour (successful) search to find a hotline volunteer who spoke French for a caller who got out number on a bottle opener.

  • Mark
    January 23rd, 2008
    1:42 pm

    I think the best cure for bum days is simple. Two words: Fresh Air (or Get Out).

    I have had bum days and forced myself to go for a hike. I’d find the local trail, cry my way over to it, hike for an hour and sing along with the radio, while sipping my fruit smoothie on my way home.

    It’s not a permanent solution, but the more you do it, the more effective long-term it can be.

    Staying inside until your humid, gloomy home starts to smell like your own BO does no good. Your skin gets pail and acne sprouts everywhere.

    Go for a nice long walk and you’ll get some color back in your cheeks and your chemicals will balance like never before.

  • Emma
    January 23rd, 2008
    1:44 pm

    I am grateful for your comments and the link to a great research article. I’m a professor of psychiatric nursing for the largest nursing school in the country and I know the struggles beset our culture when we instill false values. I’ve learned that I don’t really need a big house, or a new convertible. But I can experience these things by leasing a home, buying a used convertible…if those are the things I deem important. But they no longer are. What I know to be important (and this is stressed in that very research piece), is the EXPERIENCE we have every day. Don’t focus on being alone, or not being wealthy. Know that true joy comes from how we live each moment…with our friends, the people who care about us, a bike ride in a beautiful place.

    Thank you for your insight and inspiration.

    Emma
    Moving to France in two weeks, thanks to your book!

  • Brnogator
    January 23rd, 2008
    1:56 pm

    Tim, I agree totally with your statement about the cycle of biorhythms that body goes through. My wife has noticed in me–she actually sees it before I do, as some of my down-biorhythm behaviors are unconcious and I only notice them when she points them out. Things like extreme light and sound sensitivity, lethargy, irritableness, show up in me when I am beginning a down cycle.

    One book that has helped me tremendously is Shad Helmstetter’s book “What To Say When You Talk To Yourself.” This has been a great resource for learning how the words we use affects our mental, emotional, spiritual and physical beings. A cool movie that illustrates well the power of our mind over our body, and the effects of words on our realities is “What the #$%& do we Know.”

  • Robyn
    January 23rd, 2008
    2:03 pm

    Thank you for reminding me that every life must have low as well as high points – it’s something that I tend to forget.

    I’d like to tell people that, if they are going through a particularly bad patch, there is probably a suicide prevention line they can call to talk with someone who will truly be there for them, listening and supporting with all their might.

    And please don’t forget – there can be medical reasons for depression. If you are very sad for a couple of weeks or more, make an appointment with your doctor.

  • Hayden Tompkins
    January 23rd, 2008
    2:11 pm

    It was much more serious that depression, not that I am making light of depression. He was having problems sleeping and, as a method actor, he mentally absorbed every bit of toxicity from his characters so he could portray it on screen. He got to the point with the Joker character that he could only sleep about two hours a night.

  • Kash
    January 23rd, 2008
    2:31 pm

    Well written, Tim.

    I think you hit the nail on the head here. What has always surprised me is how, as an outsider looking in to someone like Heath Ledger, it seems as though he has it all; young, famous, good looking, rich, etc.. but clearly that was not the case… this begs the question.. what was missing? I don’t know the answer to that question, but it’s safe to say it is non-materialistic in nature. Along these lines, personally, I take gratitude walks every AM before work- strolling down the street to Starbucks, and walking back ( I live in an urban enviroment) forcing myself to think and appreciate everything awesome in my life – and there is A LOT for all of us. I was pretty bummed out as a baseline before I started this, and you would be shocked at the changes that have occurred. Im no Heath ledger, but I am successful, young, and got a lot of the materialistic stuff. It doesn’t mean squat unless regular maintenance is performed on the inside :)
    Okay, I’ll stop typing now…

  • janice c cartier
    January 23rd, 2008
    2:31 pm

    To comment or no?

    Here’s a very useful tool book:
    http://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-Therapy-Revised-Updated/dp/0380810336

    Sometime, seriously, it is a matter of the right doctor. If you have a friend in dire straits, do not hesitate to find them good help. It is a horrible muddy murky place to swim out of. Throw out a life ring.

  • Ken
    January 23rd, 2008
    2:38 pm

    Well said Tim, as usual. Nearly everyone in this country will have at some point in their leaves come into contact with, be related to, or know someone who has attempted or succeeded at taking their own lives. And a frightening percentage reading this will have attempted it themselves. It has touched my life also, and more than once, and it’s devastating. The state of mind that can lead to suicide is no joking matter, and it cares not about a person’s education/socioeconomic standing/political views. I applaud your acumen and concern.

  • Jennifer Mannion
    January 23rd, 2008
    2:40 pm

    Hi Tim,I am so happy you wrote this post. I was upset as well yesterday hearing about Heath Ledger’s death. I am very thankful you gave resources for people to contact as well as advice. I know about what labels can do and spent 6 years accepting the doctors labeling me as “chronically ill” instead of asking why and what was out of alignment causing my dis-ease. Gratitude is a wonderful tool and the first that started my healing process. It becomes habit to concentrate on the negatives and it is a habit that can be changed once you are mindful of it. I am a huge fan of your book and am glad you took the time out from your regular posts to address a very serious issue. Gratefully, Jenny

  • Annette Thompson
    January 23rd, 2008
    3:03 pm

    Great post Tim! I also enjoyed reading the study by Alan Krueger and Daniel Kahneman that you linked to. That study didn’t mention that “perhaps the best indicator of happiness was frequency of eating with friends and family.” I’d love to read that study too but haven’t been able to find it through Google though.

    ###

    Hi Annette,

    Thanks for the post. That conclusion might have been in the Princeton Alumni Weekly review and interview of the researchers. Sorry if I only included one link! I’m not sure where the other is.

    All the best,

    Tim

  • Another Tim
    January 23rd, 2008
    3:31 pm

    Amen … you have a gift for helping others to ’see’ things that are so very important to achieving a fulfilling life.

  • T. Murray
    January 23rd, 2008
    4:00 pm

    Everything happens for a reason. So I was sitting at my 9 to 5…feeling blah today. Another entrepreneurial spirit trapped in the corporate condition. Heath’s death had me thinking too..about life..about how we feel…about “depression” and insomnia. I happened to talk to a colleague/friend of mine (who I haven’t talked to in over a year) who has been working for himself for years and he directed me to your book and your site. The twist of fate of that unplanned conversation changed my outlook on my day. I feel re-energized and it was sorely needed today. I also wanted to thank you for the blog because everything you said in it resonated with me and what I was feeling today. I am picking up your book tonight and I’m anxious to see what’s inside. I agree…words are powerful. “Depression” does invoke feelings of helplessness. I find during down times if I just talk to the right person or spend time doing something I love things change, but when I focus on the “problem” I can stay in that down state for longer periods. I think your blog will help others out there, so again, thanks for sharing.

  • Jacob Share
    January 23rd, 2008
    4:01 pm

    I’ve had one serious bout of depression. It was awhile ago and what I remember is:

    1) I felt like utter crap for months
    2) I felt like it was never going to end

    Although I wasn’t suicidal, it was the first time that I understood why people contemplate suicide.

    You just want It to end.

    Only when I realized that’s how I felt did it occur to me that I was actually depressed.

    I don’t remember when I started to feel better, I just did at some point, gradually.

    Opposite of depression? Euphoria. Depression is so painful because of the feeling of endlessness, but euphoria never lasts as long we’d like.

  • Heath Ledger, Keeping Perspective in Life « Life in the San Francisco Startup Lane
    January 23rd, 2008
    4:24 pm

    [...] were present.  For every Heath Ledger, there are many more tales of depression and suicide.  Tim Ferriss has a wonderful post on the labeling of depression as depression affecting how you actually feel.  [...]

  • Mike
    January 23rd, 2008
    4:42 pm

    I was wanting a post like that from you and you wrote it. I am in real estate and it hasn’t been easy.

    I have been feeling down and hopeless. It seems that anything I try fails. I have ideas and plans but little motivation. Frustrated by the lack of motivation to do the things I think I should do but realize I don’t actually believe it will work. Confused? Yeah, me too.

    I have a degree in psychology but I think that was bad for me. I look for reasons to have my down moments instead of seeing them a cycles.

    As much as I love your blog I often allow it to make me feel down. As a 36 year old with a lot of ideas and no confidence, I get very little accomplished.

    I may be a victim of my own luck. In my life it seems that things came to me and when I push to get things I fail. It might be my filter but I am having trouble resetting it. Recently anything I do in real estate to gain new business works at the beginning and then nothing.

    This turned into a whine instead of a thank you. Your post did give me some perspective and you are someone that I admire. If I didn’t have basketball during the week I don’t know where I would be mentally. Now I am just rambling. Once again a great post.

  • David
    January 23rd, 2008
    4:57 pm

    Tim,
    A somber topic, but I appreciate what you wrote. Maybe we should all keep an eye out for friends who might be in need, and invite them over for a meal.

  • Helen
    January 23rd, 2008
    5:21 pm

    Thanks for this post. I’m so saddened by Heath Ledger’s death and none of my ‘usual haunts’ have mentioned it. I find it so ironic that he had so much that we are supposed to aspire to – good looks, talent, fame, money – yet should hate his life so very much.

    A Buddhist teacher that I listened to said that he spends most of his time ‘just listening to people. Because it’s hard, being a human being.’

    I get annoyed with our culture that tells us that we are supposed to be happy all the time. If you aren’t happy, then something is wrong with you. By nature, I’m not a cheery person. I’m often somewhat melancholy. But for me, this is okay: it’s part of who I am. It’s only a problem when the people around me tell me to cheer up! It’s different from serious depression, which I know in retrospect that I experienced as PND, and should have sought help for.

  • Martijn
    January 23rd, 2008
    5:40 pm

    Hey Tim,

    I have been thinking about you a lot. Since you make your life very public, I suppose you can do public feedback and connecting as well. If not, I’ll find out.

    Let me tell you my story about how I “connected” with you. I was on what I would learn to call a “mini-retirement” from then on. I am from Europe. I had a deal to do in Boston. While officially there is no inflation in the US, I could not find a decent hotel room for less than $ 600. So I did some research and found a 60s yacht on Lewis Wharf for $ 185. I also learnt that flying in and out in three days was actually more expensive than spending the adjoining weekend in New York. So I got a nice loft off Broadway for less than $ 300.

    I found myself walking down Broadway early Sunday morning as the city was waking up. I got some breakfast and the NY Times. So when I sat down at my kitchen table, looking at the Empire State Building from the window, in the Times I found a large article about you, which was the only real attention grabber in the paper that day.

    It kinda set the day, so we got a cab to a large Barnes & Noble store and pretty much spent the day browsing and reading. At the airport, I upgraded us to business class on my points for the journey back to Amsterdam. I read right through the 4 Hour Work Week on the plane. In my discussions with my business partner the guiding question has since been: “Who the …. is going to do this for us?”

    Quite transformative. I am a partner in several businesses. One of the things I do is help people develop their leadership. This is why the post by Steve resonated somewhat. I spent a lot of time thinking and looking at the underlying thinking and processes in your book.

    I believe the journey you made to get you where you are today is a story worth telling in more detail, because I believe a lot of people need to make a similar journey before they can just act out the stuff in your book in the same way and with the same energy, intent and focus that you do. It would also make more people connect with you, I believe.

    The post about the depression was very thoughtful, compassionate and shows your authenticity. The thoughtfulness shows itself in a very innovative way. I take heart from the fact that a leading American thinker- which you are emerging to be- propagates a behavioural remedy for depression rather than a medicinal one! Which made me like you as a human being, which is a prerequisite for liking your ideas better.

    We’re at 51º 59’54.77” N 5º 44’04.93” E. If you want jam about this or just hang out for a few days, let me know with 48 hours notice (and reconfirm coordinates). Pura vida y que el viaje quedaria mas interessante que el destino …

    (Wow, I need to spend some time in BA, my Spanish is getting very rusty)

    All the best, Martijn

    PS your stuff is going mainstream: read this month’s Fast Company magazine. Pfizer has implemented a “OOF” button in Outlook (Office of the Future) for 10,000 employees which allows them to immediately outsource non-core work to … VAs in India.

    ###

    Hi Martijn,

    Thank you for the great post and kind words! I’m doing my best, and I’ll definitely join you for a drink next time I’m in Holland! I love it there.

    All the best from another rusty Spanish owner :)

    Tim

  • Kristen
    January 23rd, 2008
    6:14 pm

    I read your post for the first time early this morning, and decided that I was too upset at what I read to reply immediately. I think after a little time and after rereading it a few times this evening, I understand better what you were trying to say. So, I’ll try to explain what upset me.

    I do agree that the body has natural ups and downs. But that is not clinical depression. I was 15 when the doctor explained to me that clinical depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain. It is a physical problem with emotional symptoms. I finally had a word for what I had been feeling for years, and I was still confused. I had a good life, wonderful family and friends, didn’t drink, didn’t do drugs, there was nothing for me to be depressed about. She also explained that those imbalances can happen for absolutely no external reason.

    To confuse natural ups and downs with depression trivializes the pain and suffering that a person with depression goes through. Calling depression “loneliness” or “just being sad” is also a dangerous form of denial. If you (or the people around you!) deny what you have, how can you effectively treat it?

    If I look at your post as a way to handle natural ups and downs, it’s a great post with very good recommendations. It’s just important to know that there is a difference between those ups/downs and depression.

  • 7 Things to NOT Do If You Have Seasonal Affective Disorder
    January 23rd, 2008
    6:15 pm

    [...] for today, but my RSS reading has uncovered a pattern of posts talking about Heath Ledger dying, depression and Seasonal Affective Disorder. As someone who’s dealt with S.A.D. and bouts of depression [...]

  • Al at 7P
    January 23rd, 2008
    6:16 pm

    My thoughts and prayers right now to those who are at that edge, contemplating suicide.

    Remember that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

  • Nameless
    January 23rd, 2008
    7:00 pm

    I’m standing on the brink looking down, I don’t have what it takes to raise my head, let alone a pretend smile. It’s like you are all well fed, yet telling someone starving to think their way to health. There aren’t words to explain the shame and fear and isolation and sense of worthlessness that go with the pain – and how anyway can I make you understand when you think you have all the answers.

    ###

    Hi Nameless,

    Thank you for your comment. I definitely don’t have all the answers. People with clinical depression, and I’ve lived with several, often need a combination of professional help and medication, among other things, to make the turn. I know it can be incredibly, unbelievably difficult, and I wish you the best of luck. It is beatable.

    All the best,

    Tim

  • Kevin C
    January 23rd, 2008
    7:00 pm

    Reading these comments, I must say that Tim has collected quite a community of quality people around this blog. So much genuine humanity and caring… a real encouragement. Bless you all.

  • M.
    January 23rd, 2008
    7:53 pm

    I love this post. Suicide was something I seriously considered for a long period of my life, before I met someone who cared enough about me and could see how far gone I was to start showing me the greatness that life, my life, can have. It’s the people your with that make all the difference. Don’t live alone in isolation and strive to always connect with those around you. It’ll make the world’s difference.

    Thanks Tim :)
    M

  • Ton
    January 23rd, 2008
    8:30 pm

    Hi Tim,

    I’m from the Philippines and I’ve just recently become your fan since reading your book and checking out your blog. I really find your posts enlightening and full of useful tips.

    It’s probably because we have some common interests. I’m into martial arts, too (Aikido, Jujitsu, Kali, Kendo, etc.) writing (I’ve been a business journalist and I continue to write for our company publication), and I like to travel, too.

    Anyway, your post about dealing with depression simply shows that the mind is really a very powerful tool. How we perceive the world using our own “logic bubbles” determines how we live our lives and interact with people. It’s like a software program that runs our lives. Gratitude training can indeed help upgrade this inner software so we become better human beings.

    Keep up the good work, Tim!

  • Jose Castro-Frenzel
    January 23rd, 2008
    9:46 pm

    Just my insight on the subject:

    a. Changing one’s physiology can help. The way your body moves dictates a lot of this.
    b. Having studied some NLP, there are some good ideas in their teachings
    c. Anthony Robbins, Cd series have helped many. He has helped many people who were on the brink of suicide- he was one of the first to test/study NLP
    d. Seek savvy advice from those you care about.
    e. Change your daily vocabulary, you can dictate what you think by what you say(not in all cases, these are merely suggestions of mine)

    We all have our down periods, but must try to find a way to use them as fuel for those days when the spotlight is ours. I am not the most familiar with this subject, but do know that what you FOCUS on is what you feel.

    I hope this helps somebody out there, Oh on a positive note I just got pics back from a school in NYC that was helped through LITLIBERATION, i love this program and am committed to helping them even further.

    Best

    Jose Castro-Frenzel

  • Peter W.
    January 23rd, 2008
    10:15 pm

    Tim, thanks for the post. I feel the same way about suicide and thought Heath’s death was such a loss-especially for his little daughter.

    The scheduled gratitude training is great. Two things that helped me when I was very depressed: exercise and helping other people. Both were very hard to start, but doing a little every day was the key. Both activities allow you to get out of your head and ignore the endless stream of negative and despairing thoughts.

    Also- drugs. There are a lot of ant-depressants on the market that are pretty effective and some people are predisposed to depression. Some need those anti-depressants to get them jump started. They don’t work alone, but in concert with therapy or support group/network, some meditation discipline and exercise, there is hope.

  • elizabeth hauser
    January 23rd, 2008
    10:32 pm

    Tim, I’m glad you posted the disclaimer about the piece not being a substitute for medical care. I did, however, find your blog very good and with a lot to offer. There is so much to be said for being grateful and looking at what IS working in our lives. You made some excellent points about the mechanics of depression…stress does deplete us of neurotransmitters necessary to help us function emotionally “like ourselves.” Having said that, some people are a little short on useable neurotransmitters to start with, and prolonged and severe stress can cause serious issues. Been there, done that. That clinical depression isn’t normal, and requires treatment to prevent bad outcomes. Many people think that a persistent feeling of sadness is the defining element in depression. Not so. ( I’m a Registered Nurse for 20 years, so I know what I’m talking about.)It’s important to recognize that some of the other symptoms of depression that most people are less aware of include: 1) sleeping problems…too much or too little, 2) eating problems…again, too much or too little, 3) chronic tiredness, 4) loss of interest in activities one normally enjoys, 5) loss of motivation and energy. And yes, a persistent feeling of sadness or poor self-worth CAN be part of it, but doesn’t have to be. Thank you for publishing the great information in your blog. Suicide is very tragic. And clinical depression can be very debilitating, but is very treatable. The normal ups and downs…thank God for them. They help us learn and appreciate life more, I think. You state in your book that desperation, such as sudden job loss and other bad breaks, is often the impetus for some very creative solutions and moves into the much bigger, better things.I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been the poster child for that concept!

  • Brad
    January 24th, 2008
    12:14 am

    Tim, Great Post! Depression is just another word for hopelessness. I have a high-school friend battling depression currently. I believe, as you do, that how we view our situation can affect how we feel. I also believe that there are serious physiological issues that should be addressed by competent medical personnel. Just remember that we are only just beginning to understand how the brain operates so choose your doctor carefully and preferably with the help of a close friend or loved one. I am well aware that many who read this may not be spiritually inclined and may take offense to my next observation. But, I also believe that if you are not centered spiritually, the clutter of life can creep in and drain you. Thanks for caring enough about your friends and us to post your thoughts. I hope I can use some of your insights to help my friend.

    Brad

  • cliff
    January 24th, 2008
    2:25 am

    If Heath’s death was a suicide then I worry, because for some reason celebrity suicides make the word ’suicide’ cool, like when Kurt Cobain died.

    I’ve had thoughts and emotions about ending my life in the past, but that’s just what they were — thoughts and feelings. These things are mercurial. They pass. They only become ‘real’ when we give them a name like ‘depression’ or ’suicide’ and we link those concepts with others, like ’solution’ or ‘escape’ or ‘cool’

    Except it’s not cool. It’s a waste.

    Kudos on tackling such a sensitive and difficult topic.

  • Helen
    January 24th, 2008
    3:10 am

    Tim, please delete my earlier comment -10824 . I just realized that [removed] suicide I referred to wasn’t general knowledge, and that field of study being as small as it is… well, I know it’s only a comment, but it’s a small world… I don’t want to cause offence or upset as I’m sure you’ll understand. Apologies for being a high-maintenance reader! Thank you.

    ###

    No problem. I’ve removed that part of your post. Good call.

    Tim

  • Winter Ross Charlton
    January 24th, 2008
    3:25 am

    Tim, Great Post. I’ve had a constant battle with depression my entire life. Over the years, i’ve come to understand depression very well, and for me at least, have noticed there is a “family component” to depression. I’ve heard it said that psychologists say “our personality is already formed by age 5.” I know for a fact that how we perceive ourselves is often an outlook or “world view” that is handed down through many generations. For example, people on welfare are often 3rd and 4th generation welfare recipients. For me, it was always my Mom and Dad that were the biggest non-believers in me and my “wild dreams” and “visions” for my life. I grew up feeling the world was at my fingertips, but ironically my parents were the primary ones telling me that my goals were “impossible,” “unrealistic,” and needed to be brought down to earth. I think many of us “learn” depression from other family members. For me, i was raised by a single mom. She is one of the most blessed people i know, and has an amazing “four hour workweek” style life, yet she is also BY FAR, the most depressed person i have ever known.

    As someone who grew up battling crazy circumstances to long to mention in this comment section, i offer this as advice to anyone out there suffering depression: 1) FIND at least TWO activities that revitalize you, reenergize you, and heal your spirit. And make sure one of these activities is an INTELLECTUAL/CREATIVE activity, and the other is a PHYSICAL activity. For me, my NTELLECTUAL/CREATIVE activity is creating music in my personal recording studio, and my second activity is bodybuilding/fitness. There’s no better cure for the depression blues than creating an amazing piece of music, or having an intense and fulfilling workout at the gym.

    hope thats helpful.

  • Andy H
    January 24th, 2008
    6:03 am

    Related article in PsychologyToday. Worth the read:

    http://www.psychologytoday.com/rss/pto-20050920-000004.html

  • Kelly Rigby
    January 24th, 2008
    6:18 am

    This is a very interesting post and I really appreciate the humanity and love you have put into it, Tim.

    Depression is one of those words that flung around a lot these days and I agree with many of the others here that bad times and lows are very different than that consistent depressive state that lives with you. Sometimes sucking you down, other times sitting there on your shoulder weighing you down just enough to know that something is deeply wrong with you. You’re different to other people, take everything to heart, sink into despair at the state of the world or nothing in particular at all.

    I have lived in this place on and off for over half my life, but I have also come out the other side, so in my experience clinical depression does not have to be a permanent state. No matter what the doctors say. Let me say this again, this is my reality. Everyone is different and we are all doing the best we can.

    For me, I have always refused to accept the diagnosis that there’s something “wrong” with me, something that I must medicate myself against for all my days. I have never done this, but I have tried lots of different therapists and alternative healing practices and I have over time (with lots of work) come to accept that this tendency to depression is just part of me. I am sensitive and creative and I need to work extra hard to stay in the present, be kind to myself, set my boundaries with others and focus on all the joy I have in my life. Now, I know I can choose to see a “problem” or I can rejoice that I feel so much. This helps my writing, makes me empathetic to the struggles of others and contributes to all the wonderful relationships in my life.

    So I agree that lifestyle and the mind can go a long way to treat sadness or depression. We do create our reality and we must involve ourselves actively in life to fully appreciate the gift that it is. Life is hope. Life is pure joy. There is always hope and joy to be had; you just have to look for it.

    Love and hugs to all.
    Kelly

  • GG
    January 24th, 2008
    11:55 am

    First, let me say I am sorry for your losses. Nothing eases the pain…

    You might also want to know about a good book out by my friend and neighbor titled, Survivors of Suicide by Rita Robinson. (She is the author of about 12 different titles.)

    Survivors of Suicide has been reprinted multiple times and just has been released in China because this problem has escalated.

    It is a resource anyone reading might find useful…interviews the experts, talks about the physiological components behind it, and lots more.

    Appreciate the personal post and wish you well through your losses.

  • Lara
    January 24th, 2008
    12:04 pm

    Thank you Tim – this is (as per usual) a great post. It’s important for all of us to remember our natural cycles.

    You’re completely right: it is how we label our moods and the attachment to those labels. Everyone has lows and they are obviously necessary. There’s no up without a down and no high without a low.

    Keeping it in perspective and allowing the low to run its natural cycle is imperative for a healthy life and lifestyle.

    Thanks again for the post and information. I’ll think about this the next time I’m in a low.

    Blessings,

    Lara

  • Gregory Johnson
    January 24th, 2008
    1:25 pm

    Braindump directed to myself and my 4HWW friends.

    When I get depressed I think/know that I am valuable to someone. Even when you do not think you are good, needed, etc. someone cares. Even people that do not know you care about you. In my Christian view, I know that God cares for you (whether you ask him to or not) and me (even though I am not capable of being good enough for God). Also, God does not want you to commit suicide, but he has a plan for your life. Why do you think you have made it this far? Look back at your successes, and your struggles. Be thankful for what you have and have made it through. Hard times teach us things, and many times those who face the most struggles succeed if they decide to. If you do not have anything you feel that is a success or anything to be thankful for, try to put your life in perspective with others that have a tougher life.

    Another way to get “back in the saddle” is to DO SOMETHING. You may be able to pinpoint something that is causing your bad feelings. Your feelings may be caused by overwork, fear of the unknown, a problem relationship, et al. If you know (or even if you don’t know) the reason for your feelings do something. Do the thing you fear, deal with the problem (maybe in some creative way, a legal way I might add). If you do not know the cause of your problem, just do what you need to do. ACCOMPLISH something that needs to be done. Getting things done can build confidence, even if they are just some to do list items.

    I have been accused, by myself and others, of having ADD or being bipolar. I guess some “Depression” comes along with an overactive imagination and wanting to get the most out of life. It seems like weekly I get the blah’s about something. I normally just head back to my to do list, and knock-out a few things out and I feel better.

    I think a lot of problems come from the lack of confidence. A lack of confidence can come from many things. Confidence can be regained by many things. I like to get online and beat a few computer generated players on Candystand.com’s ping-pong game.

    Life can be tough. When you face that tough time try to remember to look up and think what can I learn from this. Go find a friend or family member (if you don’t have one contact someone, contact me if you want greg@33waysonline.com). Sometimes a good talk and a confidence builder will get you on track. Remember there are many people, me included, that care whether we know you or not.

    Peace and Love -|- G

  • Mark
    January 24th, 2008
    1:28 pm

    Many people do have normal ups and downs. Life’s stressors can cause people to feel blue, unhappy, or depressed sometimes.

    But then, there is what is called clinical depression. I have never suffered from it. However, my wife has suffered from depression and bi-polar disorder for most of our 16-year marriage. It is not something you can just get over by thinking about it differently. At least not as far as I can tell. It requires professional help. And compassion and care from loved ones never hurts.

    Thank you for your compassion.

  • Matt Thomas
    January 24th, 2008
    2:28 pm

    Regarding the first point Tim makes, people might be interested in checking out the following article (soon to be expanded into a book) by Eric Wilson entitled “In Praise of Melancholy”:

    http://tinyurl.com/yoje36

  • S McCalla
    January 24th, 2008
    3:07 pm

    Good for you for putting the last part in your post. I really appreciate you saying clearly that this is subject that you don’t want to be made fun off or taken lightly.

    I also am inspired by your blog and would like to say keep up the good work.

    Regards

    Stuart

  • Dave Doolin
    January 24th, 2008
    3:58 pm

    I prefer the term “melancholia.”

  • Warren
    January 24th, 2008
    5:04 pm

    People dear to me have attempted suicide. It is the hardest thing to help someone who feels so helpless. Thanks for this article. It will mean the world to a lot of your readers.

  • Jeff
    January 24th, 2008
    5:35 pm

    I appreciate greatly this post and those that have responded. There are a few people around me with whom I will share a few of these concepts.

  • Chris
    January 24th, 2008
    6:01 pm

    I want to share the biological underpinnings of feeling bad, both theoretically and personally.

    The problem: Stress, both psychological and physiological (also known as inflammation), has overwhelmed your system with stress hormones, which over time forces your body to shut down.

    The solution: Tim mentioned great ways to decrease psychological stress. Friends and family. Understanding that your current state is not your fault. To decrease inflammation, which will make you feel much better all around: AVOID ALL STIMULANTS. This is critical. Sunlight (Vit D supps if winter). Magnsium supplements. Lithium orotate 20mg(OTC, a tiny dose; found in many vitamin stores). 7-Keto DHEA (extreme cortisol reduction.) Omega 3 fatty acids. Grass fed meats (Eat lots of protein). Fruits and vegetables. Avoid all junk food, minimize starches.

    If followed this regimen will decrease symptoms very rapidly.

    Good luck.

  • Peter
    January 24th, 2008
    6:52 pm

    Tim, thanks for this post. I am a psychotherapist and have read your book. There is good solid advice in what you posted. People need to take this seriously. Best, Peter

  • Andrew Weaver
    January 24th, 2008
    11:58 pm

    Great post! One of the better articles I’ve read about depression. I have always shied away from that word and I think you explained why much better than I. The labeling point is very good for those on the down side of things right now. The key is to find solutions. Again, very good post.

  • Alex Liu
    January 25th, 2008
    2:08 am

    Yup. It’s very true that a problem is not the problem. Is how we think about the problem is the problem.

    If something we normally think that’s a problem happen, we can choose to think it as a problem but something else we love or something that gives us power. That itself will not make the problem hurting us in our life.

    Alex Liu

  • Adam
    January 25th, 2008
    6:41 am

    Good post. And some of the comments are extraordinary.

    As some have already pointed out, clinical depression is a genuine physical condition that is categorically different than the natural rhythms Tim was talking about. Tony from NC’s analogy between clinical depression and diabetes is a very good one. This is a topic that hits very close to home for me; my wife has been wrestling with clinical depression, along with acute anxiety, for several years.

    The mental affects the physical, as the physical affects the mental; the distinction between the two is a bit artificial.

    Mental/behavioral approaches to clinical depression can be very effective. Therapy is the most obvious of these, and approaches like Gratitude training, etc. can also work quite well. Robert Anton Wilson created several techniques on this front (outlined in Prometheus Rising) that seem to be a few generations ahead of anything else I’ve seen.

    At the same time, medication can be absolutely necessary. It is for my wife. Once in a long while she’ll miss a day’s medication for some reason. On those days, she employs everything in her extensive arsonal of mental/behavioral techniques to keep herself in a positive mindframe. It generally works, but when she takes her medication the next day, she realizes that she’s operating on an entirely different plane than she was able to reach without it, even with all the extra effort she’d put in.

    She may not need the medication forever. I think it’s possible that the accumulated changes of the mental/behavioral approaches could eliminate her physical imbalances. But for now, to even get to a point where those approaches can really help, the medication is an absolutely necessary tool.

  • Hypnosis for Real Life » Blog Archive » Framing is More Important than the Problem
    January 25th, 2008
    8:18 am

    [...] Every single one of you should read Tim’s post on this subject here. [...]

  • Chris
    January 25th, 2008
    8:21 am

    Tim – a really wonderful post from you. In the hypnosis and NLP community we’d use the word “framing” instead of “label”, which is totally irrelevant because they are just words. My point is that I completely agree with you and I encorage people to go learn NLP so they can get the manual on how to work their brains more effectively.

    Heath’s death was very sad indeed.

  • brian
    January 25th, 2008
    8:52 am

    I have written about my personal experiences with mild depression and have a list of good resources on my blog

    http://blogprophet.wordpress.com/depression-resources/

  • jane
    January 25th, 2008
    10:59 am

    T, I love your blog and your bright shiny spirit. Until one has suffered from depression in a clinical sense, its easy to put it in the be around friends-be grateful-count your blessings sort of category…Clinical depression is paralyzing. It’s nearly impossible for people in this condition to will their way out…it is particularly troubling and difficult to tell someone who is in suffering to change their perspective//or lift or think their way out, as brain chemistry has a lot to do with why their perspective is indeed limited.I am a big fan of yours and appreciate this post, though it reminded me a bit too much of Tom Cruise’s comments to Brooke Sheilds…much love, regardless! xoJ

  • tainali
    January 25th, 2008
    12:16 pm

    I have taken medication for depression for 4 years and it helps me live a normal life. I have normal ups and downs, but I get up from bed and brush teeth and go out every day. Before the medication I could not do that. Everything seemed pointless, even eating, and I really love to eat. But even thinking about what to eat was too hard. I could concentrate on TV for two minutes, I didn’t sleep well, did not wake up, everything looked gray (literally). I cried and was agressive. Now I do not have migrane or stomach pain. I can even be in company of other people.
    I have quit madication two times and I then get manic. Buying, traveling, drinking and sex! Paying all the debts and trying to repair relationships takes years. But being manic is so much fun!
    If you moods don’t hurt you or other people much, it is ok. But real depression, even mild as mine is really a hell on earth.

  • Tim Vink » Blog Archive » Eten met vrienden
    January 25th, 2008
    1:05 pm

    [...] perhaps the best indicator of happiness was frequency of eating with friends and family. Quote from a blog on depression by Tim Ferris, Author of the book the four hour [...]

  • sirgutz
    January 25th, 2008
    2:22 pm

    T… We cannot assume that his passing is due to suicide at this time. What the most pressing issue here in not depression per say but rather HOW we look and treat depression as well as other “disorders” that the medical and pharmaceutical industries have given definitions to. We have become an Instant Gratification society that believes in immediate, magic cures. Feeling anxious, take a pill, feeling blue, take a pill, heck.. ill give you a pill to help elevate the symptoms from the other pills.. You ever wonder why people need so many pills? they do not.

    Heath had 6 drugs prescribed to him because he suffered from Insomnia and anxiety. Its pretty well known that these so called “legal” drugs are abused significantly more the illegal drugs. Heath had those 6 different drugs prescribed to him. Did each of the Doctors who prescribed these drugs know about the effects mixed with one another? What are the results if you mix 3 different sleep aids with 2 different anti anxiety medications mixed with over the counter drugs and a weakened heart from previous heroin issues and missing his 2 year old daughter?

    I had the pleasure of knowing Heath and he was not suicidal at all.. Or have our doctors just become modern day legal pushers doing the bidding of the Pharmaceutical industry. the media will paint this as a depressed person who may have taken his own life when really what happened was he was killed by greed and negligence.there is something going on here but it is not from a celebrity who was going through a rough patch but rather a victim of negligence and the failure of a broken system unable to protect one of its consumers.

    ###

    Thank you for your comment, Brian. These are very good and valid points. It’s important not to jump to conclusions, and the media portrayal just triggered this topic on the blog. I don’t want to imply that the only possibility is suicide, as it could very well not be the case.

    Thanks again,

    Tim

  • VH
    January 25th, 2008
    6:50 pm

    Tim,
    As a published biochemist I can tell you that taking any medication should be a last resort. Doctors are quick to simply write a prescription (and another and another) before making sure a strict regimen of proper diet and excercise is followed first. As patients we need to be educated consumers. The pharmaceutical business is just that..a business (note that profit is in the treatment and not the cure). These days FDA is extremely understaffed so above all we need to inform ourselves of our condition and potential alternatives to meds. Let me clarify that I am not against taking meds. Although a physician’s goal should be to ensure a healthy lifestyle first. The follow-up may be a plan to be weaned off of any absolutely necessary medication. If you haven’t already read Andrew Weil’s best-sellers they’re terrific! With and undergrad degree in botany and MD from Harvard he is an expert in natural remedies and the mind body connection. [www.drweil.com] If only allopathic Western medicine were more in sync with total healing (not just a quick fix to alleviate symptoms) perhaps we’d have a much healthier society mentally and physically.
    -vh

  • Sprock
    January 25th, 2008
    11:16 pm

    Hey Tim,

    Your book has been a HUGE inspiration. At least a dozen people that have taken my advice and read your book said it changed their.

    Because of you, I am selling my stuff and heading to Argentina for a mini-retirement. Looks like you were just down there but if you will be there in May to July, I’d love buy you a celebratory beer and hit up some clubs.

    Sprock

    ###

    Thanks for the kind words! If I end up going to BsAs during that time, it’s a deal :)

    Tim

  • Shawna
    January 26th, 2008
    12:26 am

    I too liked this post but for some reason I was particularly struck by the p.s. What a great additional lesson for us all…to ask for (and demand) what we need. Thanks Tim!

  • Scott
    January 26th, 2008
    1:42 pm

    This is exactly what Anthony Robbins describes in chapter 9 of Awaken the Giant Within, “The Vocabulary of Ultimate Success.” A life changing book, but especially this chapter.

    The bottom line is that the words we CHOOSE to use to describe and categorize our experiences determines how we feel about them. This gives us the ultimate power of choice to choose words that empower us to feel as fully and completely how we would like to feel.

  • Raina Gustafson
    January 26th, 2008
    4:55 pm

    I appreciate the post and all the previous comments. I’ll just tack on a couple of additional thoughts and resources that some may find helpful.

    In my experience, the mainstream medical community is both lacking in adequate diagnostic tools, and is too quick to prescribe. I’ve read that 1 out of every 6 women’s doctor visits (to all doctors – not just psychiatrists) results in a prescription for anti-depressants. That seems pretty out of control.

    It’s been explained to me that SSRI’s (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors) work by tricking the body into thinking there is twice as much serotonin in the system as there actually is. This tends to be sporadically effective since it’s fully possible that someone’s serotonin level – even when doubled – is inadequate.

    Further, mainstream medicine is perfectly willing to prescribe these medications without doing any diagnostic testing to determine if there truly is a serotonin (or any other) deficiency. I feel that this is for all practical purposes unethical.

    In contrast, a naturopath may be more likely to order blood, urine and saliva analysis to determine the presence of neurotransmitter and other nutrient deficiencies, toxicities and imbalances – and only then prescribe supplements or medications as appropriate, and follow-up to ensure they are being absorbed.

    For anyone interested, the lab that I got my testing done is at http://www.neurorelief.com. They can refer a doctor to order the testing. Of course, it is unlikely that insurance will cover the expense, however I feel it is worth every penny. What is more valuable than your peace of mind?

    While I agree with what others have said about exercise, fresh air, friends, family, attitude and more, if you sense you may be suffering from a temporary or chronic chemical imbalance, why not try to find relief by testing your body for what it really needs before resorting to meds with all their known side effects?

  • gaetano
    January 27th, 2008
    8:43 pm

    Duality of world, the way we conceive it (negative-positive, ying yang, night and day etc.), leads to consider the existence of duality as a principle imprinted into the neurological mechanisms (hardware) of our brain. There are lots of clues of that, and I believe it is a logical consequence of the duality of the (our) world the way we perceive it (and a premise at the same time- or maybe just a premise!?!).

    in short, the brain is NOT indipendent at all from what you think about it- if it is sick (DEPRESSION), a lot of that (not all) is clearly influenced by WHAT you think about the sickness itself (and NOT just the other way around).

    now, thats premised, please take a better look at the neurological basis of depression, specifically to its interrelation with so called (very badly defined) attention deficit disorder- things are a little more complex than what looks like, still not too complicated necessarily-

    i would recommend you to take a look to the site and book of this very knowledgeable new york psychiatrist http://www.gettingunstuckthebook.com

  • CatherineL
    January 27th, 2008
    9:05 pm

    Hi Tim – thank you for addressing this issue with your sensitive post. Suicide is a terrible thing. And I had no idea how common it was before the Internet, particularly among teenagers.

    If it will help others, I don’t mind admitting that I have contemplated suicide in the past. I was suffering from PTSD and part of that is severe depression.

    Before it happened to me, I assumed that people who committed suicide preplanned it. Then, I saw a knife and I suddenly had this urge to harm myself. It was quite terrifying.

    I knew it was wrong and harming myself would have a devastating affect on others and luckily I managed to stop myself from doing it and get medical help. I felt like that a few times afterwards, but I knew it was wrong and the feeling would pass if I ignored it.

    If anyone does have the same strange feeling or urge that I had, they should get help as soon as possible. If you don’t have friends or family around who can help – go to your GP, or call one of the numbers that Tim mentioned.

  • gaetano
    January 27th, 2008
    9:13 pm

    duality of the perceived world (night-day, good-evil, ying-yang etc.) is likely mirrored (or generated?) straight in the neurological mechanism of our brain-

    in short, as Tim implies, what you think about the brain or its sickness, influence it- thats true for every social reality, think about financial bubbles for example..

    that premised, I wanted to stress that things may be a little more complex than what seems to be written in today’s post (which bby the way I think is right, per se)

    take a look at this knowledgeable new york psychiatrist website (and book)- It is about the two-way interconnections between depression dissociation and so called attention deficit disorder (”so called” because thats a very bad and misleading definition of the phenomenon)

  • gaetano
    January 27th, 2008
    9:19 pm

    third time I try to post a totally decent comment- possibly useful-

    depression in many cases can be a little more complex of a phenomena- in particular it becomes so when it interconnects with other behavioral conditions, like attention deficit (very bad definition) and dissociation- there is dense research and results in this specific field, just very hard to find out about it- one possibly useful place is this one http://www.gettingunstuckthebook.com

  • Charon
    January 27th, 2008
    9:32 pm

    Thank you for this.

    Living life as in the performing arts brings a huge amount of ups and downs but I try to remember where the richness of my life really is. Generally, it’s right in front of me and I strive to be awake and aware enough to really see it.

    Thanks again.

  • Dr Martin Russell
    January 28th, 2008
    12:14 am

    One of the best responses to Heath’s death I have seen.

    Hadn’t dared to comment on these issues on my blog before, but now I will so I can link back to this post.

    The treatment suggestions in these comments are equally fascinating.

    Most of the self-help is Tony Robbins, or NLP.

    There is a bunch of naturopathy, diet, exercise cures.

    And a bunch of “clinical depression is a different entity entirely” comments too.

    Personally I think medicine is much too quick to make a dividing line between “psychiatric/biological illness” and “psychological / personal development issues”. The problem then becomes if you shift the line one way you get underrecognition. If you shift it the other way you get disease-mongering. There is more grey-zone.

    You have hot-line phone numbers for professional help. Can I add a resource for people to stay safe taking sleeping pills…

    http://www.SelfHelpSleepingPills.com

  • Sheridan Flynn
    January 28th, 2008
    3:45 am

    Hi Tim, lovely post. You clearly touched a lot of people out there. Check out Anthony de Mello http://www.tonydemello.wordpress.com. Very interesting writing on how we view the world. take care, Sheridan.

  • Your Fragile Mind/Your Strong Mind « Dysthymia Joe and the Meaning of Happiness
    January 28th, 2008
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    [...] about depression and the impression that word or diagnosis might do to your self esteem.  Click here to go to the article.  When I spend too much time contemplating dysthymia I naturally become more [...]

  • Ishta
    January 29th, 2008
    12:57 pm

    Saying to yourself, “I’m depressed” really is a sure way to stay that way. I think it helps to distract the mind by, say, doing something else mentally engaging enough to distract the negative self-talk or boost self-esteem. Maybe try helping a friend or loved one with something important or teach something you’re good at. Moods can change very quickly.

  • gaetano
    January 29th, 2008
    3:22 pm

    what we say to us has a strong effect sure on our brain (on us!)-

    but lets not forget depression is NOT out of nowhere- it has to do with (perceived) reality- it is a way to stop and try to think better- sometimes the solution is about seeing reality more accurately (saying to yourself…) some other time it is about changing reality (for real!!)- and most of the times it is both things at the same time!-

    depression is also, neurologically, about chemical un-balance in your neurons- if you are on the right track of changing things, it makes a lot of sense to consider medications as a SHORT TERM tool, in order to speed up the re-balancing of those chemicals: in a lot of cases depression (hardware) goes with OTHER “software” problems (like low selfesteem) which could sabotage an healthy change process in its infancy- in those cases it could make sense to shut depression down artificially and let the new changed lifestyle sink in (goal being stopping meds asap) in our psychology (software)

  • Stephanie
    January 29th, 2008
    11:05 pm

    Hi Tim
    I am a new subscriber and also interested in the subject of depression. A helpful guide for individuals and their friends and families is to look for these symptoms:
    1. Feelings of sadness, hopelessness, ect. that don’t go away.
    2. Negative thoughts repeating over and over.
    3. Thoughts that being gone or dead would be better than this.
    4. Actually thinking about dying.
    5. Making plans on how to take your own life.

    These symptoms can happen in this order or not and over a period of weeks or months. These are my own observations. It is wise to seek help if any of these are present. Unfortunately, for those suffering from clinical depression, these thoughts are a symptom just like a cough is a symptom of a cold. The brain is an organ of the body just like all the others and can get sick – the big difference is that the brain will effect how you think and feel. That’s the tricky part. I do agree with the positive advice from everyone on how you look at things. It’s important, though, not to overlook that if that is not enough, getting help should be the next step.
    Thanks for your post – it has gotten some great comments!

  • Some Food for Thought | Keener Living
    February 1st, 2008
    9:49 am

    [...] an article on depression recently, right after the death of Heath Ledger, in which he discussed how you label determines how you feel . A noteworthy quote from this article: To paraphrase Dan Sullivan: the problem isn’t the [...]

  • Davids dad
    February 1st, 2008
    8:39 pm

    akams razor ! circle of life, teach the children…… all have a really profound meaning now, as if they did not before!
    i got really depressed and did not even know.

    after being abused as a child, after loosing 2 very close friends, i learn’t you can only trust your family!
    so i spent all or most of my time looking forward keeping out an eye for problems, to the point that due to some odd coediences (sp) and a bit of misfortune i managed to work myself into a right state when my son started secondary school. i shut out my wife, one of my 2 boys and went hell for broke. Linda, mark, David, Emma. i love you very much!
    and Davids dad says , David you better behave,

    I hope somebody learns from this,
    Life’s what you make it! and if you don,t or don’t know how to make it, excercise, join in, stand tall, smile and if all else fails seek help. professional if necessary.

  • Doug Kent
    February 1st, 2008
    10:50 pm

    Tim,
    Great post, especially with all the rain we’ve had this month in San Francisco. I definitely agree that meals with family and friends keeps you happy.

    You have a great attitude towards life. Keep up the good work. You’re making a difference in other people’s lives through inspiration and common sense. Loved the book.

    Off to dinner now with friends!
    Doug

  • Nick Pagan
    February 2nd, 2008
    7:34 am

    My own conclusions on the emotions that we respond to is that they are entirely a result of the desires that we have and how well we fulfill them. If we meet or exceed a desire then we experience positive emotions. If we fail to fulfill a desire then we experience negative emotions. Unfortunately this causal relationship is unknown to most people on the planet. Emotions well up seemingly for no reason and we spend a great deal of our lives responding to those emotions instead of dealing with the underlying problem: managing our desires.

    Many of us have desires that are simply impossible to fulfill and yet we don’t know this. We keep knocking ourselves out to do the impossible and this continually triggers off negative emotions. Nothing will make you feel bad quicker than wanting the impossible right now. In the end this struggle against impossibility leads to depression and sometimes, tragically, suicide.

    To counter depression you have to get clear about what things you desire. If you regularly feel depression it is because you want too many things that you don’t have the competency to fulfill. Sometimes you need to develop yourself but sometimes what you want will always prove impossible. When you recognize that you can discard that desire or at least live in awareness of the difficulty of accomplishing it.

    To recover from depression go back to what you can do well. Do the things that you have ability to do easily. This gets you firmly grounded and puts you back in touch with your strengths.

    This article gives some easy to do tips on getting back that grounding.
    http://www.nickpagan.com/blog/12/breaking-the-spell-of-depression/

  • Are You Feeling Depressed? | Franzone Family Blog
    February 6th, 2008
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  • Francesco Bellafante
    February 23rd, 2008
    8:32 am

    You are an inspiration Tim.

    This particular post of yours is part of what finally got me “kicked off” online about 7 weeks ago now, after years of contemplative incubation about how to make a big difference for “suffering people.”

    I think your thinking on this subject is sage, and I am dedicating myself to proliferate this empowering way of thinking in America and the world.

    Best regards,
    Francesco “Frank” Bellafante

    ###

    Thank you very much for your kind words, Francesco. Best of luck :)

    Tim

  • Michael Prince
    April 19th, 2008
    5:56 pm

    I agree, great post. I think a lot of people who suffer quote from depression are just unsatisfied with their lives and are looking to have people be interested in their lives. Its a way to get attention but in the end it more self destructive then they realize.

  • Daniel
    May 16th, 2008
    1:19 pm

    Thanks for a great post.

    I just found this blog and am really enjoying it. I always enjoy intellectual seriousness about serious topics.

    On depression–the quantitative + emotionally sensitive approach really opens up most people toward new realities. Well done!

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    September 14th, 2008
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  • anti depression
    October 22nd, 2008
    7:14 pm

    Depression is a commonplace event in modern times, taking on many different forms, including physical, sexual, emotional, and verbal abuse, occurring in many different contexts.

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    January 13th, 2009
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  • Robert Hammond
    January 13th, 2009
    7:22 am

    Thanks Tim,

    Loved your book. This was a great article. I saw Nick speak at my church a few years ago. Very inspirational.

    Thanks for keeping this concept in simple terms: eat with friends, watch your labels, and cultivate an attitude of gratitude. It works, if you work it!

    Best,

    Robert

  • Jeannie
    January 13th, 2009
    8:18 am

    Tim,
    Thanks for touching on this subject which affects millions. I think too many people are numbing out from life with alcohol and drugs and other addictions to stop feeling the pain of their life. We are living in a society that seems to be connected by all the electronic means but yet you see the loneliness and isolation around you on a daily basis. I teach high school students and it is so evident in their lives. Everyone wants to love, be loved and understood.
    I have spent years in therapy undoing the faulty thinking and feelings of low self-worth as a person subjected to incestual abuse by an alcoholic father. My faith in God is what pulled me through most of it. I have been in the suicidal stage.
    I am 52, unemployed, subbing in a school district going to different schools daily. My husband is unemployed also. These are not circumstances I thought I would be in at my age.
    I have found that eating right, exercising are critical when you are going through struggles.
    Watch what you see on TV, surround yourself with positive people, music, books and do something to feel you are making strides to get yourself out of the situation you are in. Just don’t numb yourself out of life.
    This too shall pass.
    Jeannie

  • Kerri
    February 10th, 2009
    12:48 am

    People’s views on depression and reaction to people who are going through it have an immense effect. Some people don’t feel that anyone cares. Then they get to a point where everything builds up and they can’t stop crying and just want to die. Some of the lucky ones succeed.

  • Jill
    February 18th, 2009
    2:38 am

    Hey tim,
    like the others above I want to thank you for the way you handled the topic of labelling. Yeah I have a few labels and none of them make me feel great and so I don’t use them – I don’t want to be an expert on mental illness – and I don’t ever intend to be to be a text book study for anyone.

    So in general terms I have dealt with depression for most of my life. I accept that I have long episodes of depression – I feel depressed – it is part of the usual cycle for me – but I don’t ever want to say “I am depressed” That dis-ease does not define me absolutely – I have a different name. I also worry how we are led into echoing the words of others – “I suffer from depression” Yep is it something we struggle with under suffrance but I am prepared to survive it – well I do my best.

    The language and the labels are so important in the way that we can all work to limit the stigma of whatever it is that others want to label what we deal with. I don’t want to be a victim I want to be a survivor. And sometimes when I think about it – there are days that I am grateful that I have had to struggle and surivive, deal and cope. There are many wonderful things in my life, many people and experiences that I would not have had the joy of with out that big black dog in my life.

    Thanks for the thoughtfulness of your blog

  • Darren
    February 18th, 2009
    3:44 pm

    Possibly a bit off topic this but I hope that it may help somebody else who finds themselves in the same or similar position I was in 18 Months ago.

    1982 I was 12 years old and the local thug, stealing swearing picking a fight with who ever I could, Kicked out of school and sent to a reform school / borstal in Gloucester where I was abused where ½ the school staff later received various Jail terms for offences against children. Not a very nice childhood, but it taught me to fear a few things, the social services just read the news. Schools and divorce.

    Me and my ex wife moved house in order to get our child into a new better school, they did not want him as he had a statement for delayed development. One problem after another.

    Finally they call in the social services, what a bunch of incompetent morons suggesting this and that problems at home, well my wife was having an affair.

    Talk to the local scout leader he has had great positive dealings with our son , School reply ‘that’s not our job’ Social services ‘Somebody in the office will do that’. (6 times I asked)

    Depression coming on now, I could feel the blood start to boil over, head of care at this school had the same surname as head of care in Gloucester.

    Took my son to a children’s man who could find nothing wrong apart from feeling isolated in this new school.

    Worked out the wife was having an affair (which for a Christian type hurts possibly more than for others).

    Finally this member of staff at this new school suggests I am abusing my son in some way to the social services and then tells me that an abuse allegation has been made.

    Social worker ‘we think foster care might be appropriate’

    Now what should I have done?

    So I speak to the scout leader and get him to ask me to quote a statement on his behalf ‘he wants contact with anybody concerned with my child’s care as soon as possible before somebody makes a big mistake’ My wife just could not give a care always going to work.

    So I go to the school on my own pull one out of the bag, tell the meeting of about 8 staff including the social worker I am recording the meeting, a 20 minute speech I had prepared itemising all the things I felt they had done wrong, how their suggestions were causing so many problems at home. The fact I had done this and that to help but nobody was taking my suggestions seriously, oh and the scout leaders comments, I hate these meetings anyway and I am really struggling not to really fly of the handle.

    Put my recording on a disk and took it to the head of the last school asked for some help.

    Finally I suffered a nervous breakdown. Come out of hospital and a fortnight later my wife runs off with a pensioner.

    Nearly back in hospital but no I have children to care for who I love very dearly.

    Fortunately I’ve got our children.

    About a year later now and guess no problems at this new school. Social worker could not run away quick enough, Mental health care closed everything, now from the new school ‘We think your son might be on the autistic register’

    So if the odds are against you do be afraid to do what’s morally right. Despite it seeming there is not a light at the end of the tunnel suicide is a bad thing. I for one feel so a great deal stronger now.

  • Cara
    February 24th, 2009
    9:26 pm

    Tim,
    This is the first time I have read your blog. I knew it was sitting here in my in-box. I was feeling really low and wrote out “50 ways to leave your life”, since I’ve already left my so-called “lover”. I’ve got an “in the process of” ex-husband who’s been living off me for 7 years despite my trying to get him to end his money losing business. His favourite saying is “I’ll do it later”, at least it was until I stopped bothering to ask him to help out. For years, he hasn’t contributed one red cent to vacations, dinners out, nanny (who I had to let go because I couldn’t afford to support him, her and 2 kids), kids’ activities, mortgage, cars, you name it. He has a scary temper, yells at my kids and I over the smallest things, and tries to lay the guilt trip on me for his shortcomings (like it’s my fault I don’t make enough money to support a Nanny, which basically seems to me like one wife hiring another wife to do even more work so he doesn’t have to!) My Mum has Alzeimers, my Dad died, my sister has cancer, my dog died last year, my brother is like my “ex” (but fortunately not married so only can hurt himself), my lawyer is incompetent, unethical and greedy, and I have debilitating neck and back pain that the doctor seems to think is not a problem, even though it hurts so much I break down and sob (and I’m not a wimp – I had 2 kids without any medication in my 40’s!). I have no support network, I am totally on my own. (your friends will listen to your sob story for only so long – and they’re certainly not going to replace the 100’s of thousands of dollars your “ex” leeched off you). I have 2 young girls, one of whom is turning out to be rude, mean, demanding, greedy and abusive, just like my “ex” – and she’s not even a teenager yet – arrrrgh! I think that’s the straw that broke the camel’s back. I don’t want to live to see her grow up to be just like him! On top of all this a third party is trying to wipe me and my business out. I’ve been pretty good at picking up self-help stuff over the past year – meditation, chi-gong, pilates, massage, music, herbal tea, healthy food, going out with friends – but I just can’t seem to “keep my chin up” and bury all this deep inside anymore.

    So, anyway – that’s what brought me to your blog. It’s a nice distraction, but given that I’m a person suffering from some pretty obvious low self esteem problems (how else could I have stayed in such an abusive relationship?), there’s only so much I can do on my own, and I don’t have a huge circle of friends. So I guess one observation is this – I agree, you must absolutely, absolutely surround yourself with positive individuals. I left it way too long, and it is threatening to destroy me. As tough as it is for me now, I haven’t for a second regretted leaving my “ex”. (Aha – I found one positive thought to be grateful for tonight!) For anybody in an abusive relationship, please, please don’t suffer for seven years, end it after a year at most (the relationship that is). Abusive people don’t change (except for brief periods, when they know they’ve pushed you too far, then they say “I’m sorry, I love you” in such a way that you later want to nominate them for an Oscar, but at the time you buy it hook, line and sinker!)

    Anyway, thanks for reading. Perhaps somebody else will read this and feel like they are not alone – there are actually some people still alive who haven’t worked everything out but haven’t taken the ultimate “end the pain” step. Yes, I’m wavering but likely have a little more tolerance for suffering if I can find some competent physician to prescribe me some effective “happy drugs” to get me through this. I feel a little calmer now. Think I’ll go book that doctor’s appointment tomorrow!

    - Cara

  • Deas
    February 25th, 2009
    4:05 am

    Cara,

    I was reading your post and it hit that you are really suffering from matters that may seem insurmountable. It may appear there are no options, but there are always options out. The journey out of these hards times is what makes you the unique individual that will one day be something very important to someone else and possibly the world. Its hard to say what our purpose in the world is and how we may impact others positively. It may being there at one second to help an individual redirect their actions to achieve greatness or it may be becoming a world leader. Each has just the level of importance in the grand scheme of things.

    A little about myself. I grew up in a divorced family during my turbulent teenage years. I experimented with drugs and petty crime as a teenager. I although had a good foundation that set boundaries for me that basically kept me from doing crazy stuff. My mother died of cancer and prior to that basically lived most of my life in a state of druck anger. I did go to college, made a good living as partner in an Investment company and finally married be it after 40 years. I still have struggles like the breakup of my business with my real estate investment partner in a business that was very rewarding and lucrative at the time. Generally, I have been able to deal with these minor distractions and even in my lowest of times contend I am blessed. I grew up with a heavy and somewhat overbearing Christian background and I do personally believe Jesus saved me from myself. (Please do not hang up yet!)

    Not knowing you other than the email descriptor of your life, I usually would not make any assumptions, but I believe you are reaching out and need someone to talk to. I am not a professional shrink and do not really confess to have the clinical answers for you. However, I urge to consider this and not take offense at the suggestion.

    I was brought up to believe there was only one thing I was not to ever consider. That was taking my life. I was told that God put me here for a very important purpose and that I would know why when I got to heaven. However, it was not my right regardless of my condition to ever take my life. I could make many choices good and bad, but this was unconditionally unacceptable. Therefore, in all down spots of my life this boundary has always been there keeping me from even considering such a move.

    I urge you to accept this boundary and take steps to make your journey out where you and become your god given destiny. I can tell you are a very smart cookie and there is a very important purpose for you in this world If you want to chat, my email is deas at my website listed above. (afraid to put it out on the web due to spam).

    PS When I am really down I play a little Bible lottery. I pick it up and turn to any page and see what it tells me. The difference is that I usually win at this lottery!

    You can look me up as Deas Nealy and will find me as well if you want to chat.

  • Davey
    March 19th, 2009
    3:25 am

    Based on the last 3 posts I see a need for a whole new discussion to be started – 2 people pour their troubles out and another jumps in to offer support. Well done but wouldn’t it be great if this took place somewhere obvious rather than buried in the comments area of a single blog post?

    I think the most inspiring thing about Tim’s post isn’t the post itself but the massive response it generated. Thanks Tim.

  • Jennifer Grater
    May 26th, 2009
    7:37 pm

    happiness is something that you do, not something that happens to you. simply living your life and expecting to be happy is absurd. like all good things in life, happiness is something you have to work for. sure, like success in business, it may seem to come so easy for some people that it seems unfair. i think the main problem is that most people are afraid of the changes required to do so. but its definitely there, if you want it.

    where i am now is void of the security blankets we build around ourselves and believe me, it is SCARY. but i work everyday at sucking up my fear and following my heart. after years of resisting (yes, u are resisting), i have finally found my peace of mind.

  • Garrett Daun
    June 10th, 2009
    10:39 pm

    whoa, thanks for that excellent post, Tim. It really demonstrates the power of a single blog post. Cheers!

  • Garrett Daun
    June 10th, 2009
    10:59 pm

    whoa, what a post. I don’t really have answers for anyone here, as I continue to live in this crazy flow of life we all seem to share together. However, there are infinite directions in which to proceed, and anytime that anyone thinks they have something completely figured out and understood, you can be sure that there are many, many more things to learn and observe.

    enjoy.

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